One of the best dates I’ve had with my partner in recent memory was quarantine-friendly. I had rediscovered a Modern Love essay that had gone viral in 2015: To Fall In Love With Anyone, Do This. It centred around a study in which a psychologist “made” two strangers fall in love by having them ask each other 36 specific questions.
I found the list of questions and, without telling my husband what I was up to, while we sat on our roof, independently tapping at our phones, I started to ask them of him. “Would you like to be famous? In what way?” After he responded, I’d tell him my answer too. “Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?” He quickly realised that something was up, but even after I explained what I was doing, we kept going. “What is your most terrible memory?”
My husband and I met at 19, started dating at 20, married at 31. You’d think there wouldn’t be many stones left unturned between us. And some of his responses felt as familiar as a worn pair of jeans. Yes, I knew that, I’d think, happily, a little smugly. But I marvelled at how he answered other questions. We were covering new territory. “What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?”
It got cooler on our roof, and we moved downstairs. As we finished the list of questions — ”Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it” — I felt close to my husband, and unexpected, a little shy; newly in love, reminded again that there were still mysteries left to uncover between us. “That was great,” he said, and I agreed.
All that to say: Don’t underestimate the power of questions. Those 36 questions were designed to make strangers fall in love, but they worked for my decade-old relationship too. Asking, listening, responding, comparing — it’s an aphrodisiac.
So on National Couple's Day — if it’s too hot to eat outside a restaurant, if you have watched literally every show and movie on Netflix, if the shine has worn off cooking together — consider trying a game of Would You Rather instead. The questions can be silly, or serious, or dirty, or anything in between. But I guarantee that at the end, you’ll feel a little closer. Here are some ideas to get you started.
Dirty Questions For Couples
Would you rather never receive oral again or never smoke weed again?
Would you rather send nudes to your boss or to your parents?
Would you rather sneeze every time you orgasm, or orgasm every time you sneeze?
Would you rather spit or swallow?
Would you rather only be able to be on the bottom during sex, or only on the top?
Would you rather be cheated on by a partner, or cheat on a partner?
Would you would rather get spanked or do the spanking?
Would you rather never wear underwear again or never wear socks again?
Would you rather walk in on your parents having sex or have your parents walk in on you having sex?
Funny Questions For Couples
Would you rather wear sweatpants for the rest of your life (including funerals and weddings) or have to wear sequins to everything?
Would you rather have every meal you eat for the rest of your life be a little too spicy, or a little too sweet?
Would you rather be able to speak and understand every language in the world or know how to talk to animals?
Would you rather have to eat food with moldy jam on it once a day, or never eat a meal with me again?
Would you rather not shower for a week or not brush your teeth for a week?
Would you rather be able to see your own future or be able to see everyone else’s future, but not your own?
Would you rather burp butterflies or fart glitter?
Love Questions For Couples
Would you rather go back in time so you could know me longer, or spend more time with me now?
Would you rather hold my hand for four hours straight every day or never hold it again?
Would you rather get flowers every week or diamonds every two years?
Would you rather marry someone who had a pet boa constrictor who lived in a flimsy cage or someone who hated dogs and who wouldn't let you have one?
Would you rather get a good morning text or a good night text?
Would you rather support your partner’s dream of becoming an influencer, or have your partner be out of work?
Would you rather Instagram Live all our arguments, or never use the Internet again?
Would you rather marry someone who never organised the dishwasher the way you liked it or never marry at all?
Money Questions For Couples
Would you rather change jobs every few years or keep one job for the rest of your life?
Would you rather be famous, or rich?
Would you rather make a huge salary but have to give everything above minimum wage to charity, or have a mid-range salary and be able to spend it on whatever you want?
Would you rather have a ton of debt but a really high salary, or no debt but a lower salary?
Would you rather have a job you love with a low lifetime earning potential, or a job you hate but makes a lot?
Life Questions For Couples
Would you rather only be able to cry in front of other people, or only be able to cry alone?
Would you rather lose your most cherished memory, or know that you’d already had your happiest moment in life?
Would you rather be 45 minutes early to every appointment or 45 minutes late?
Would you rather raise your child to be moderately religious, but in a religion you don’t practice, or intensely religious, but in your chosen religion?
Would you rather eat out for every meal or have to cook every meal?
Would you rather only be able to have one child, or have to have seven?
Would you rather have no emotions or be able to deeply feel every little thing?
Would you rather know how you're going to die or know how I'm going to die?