It’s a bit of a cliché that queer women know how to have the best first dates. Lesbian memes about driving across the country and dates extending for days abound. But clichés exist for a reason. Dates between queer women are often planned down to the last detail, involving candles, poetry and picnics on the beach.
Generalisations aside, I have dated both men and women and while I have experienced romantic dates with male partners, these have generally been during long-term relationships, or they have been orchestrated by me. In my experience with queer women, the romance and attention to detail is there from the very first date – whether that’s at a poetry reading, a private exhibition, a themed film night or a stroll around a literary graveyard.
Perhaps it’s because women are conditioned to be more nurturing and attentive or because queer relationships are free from limiting gender roles that lay out who should do what. A queer relationship starts on a more equal footing and it can be easier to find common interests. So I decided to reach out to other queer women to ask about their best dating experiences. Whether you’re single and bored of always going on the same sort of Tinder date or you want inspiration for what to do with your long-term partner, here’s what they had to say.