Back when Keeping Up With the Kardhasians, was just another reality TV show, the Kardashian home was outfitted with your typical early aughts design elements: oversized furniture, not-so-discrete recessed lighting, and that awkward cross between Southern farmhouse and British country home so common in the days of MTV’s Cribs. It was the early days of shabby-chic and the Kar-Jenner clan’s house was just like your average rich-family-of-eight’s California home. While Kris Jenner has since abandoned her old dark wood floors for a new black-and-white theme, Kim followed Kanye West’s vision into the land of oatmeal, beige, and untouchable white.
To use Kim’s words, her new Calabasas home is “minimal monastery.” Several of its not-so-ascetic and idiosyncratic features have gone viral: the 130-inch TV that disappears into the floor, the sinks that, in fact, do need explanation, the lack of light switches (they’re buttons). And today, we add Belgian plaster floors to the list.
“The house,” Kim told Forbes, “is all him. I’ve never seen anyone that pays such attention to detail.”
For his latest cover story, Kanye West had the writer cover his Air Jordan high tops in little cloth booties. The floors are Belgian plaster and a team has to be flown-in from Europe to clean up any scuffs or marks. The reason why the Wests provide fabric booties instead of implementing a no-shoe policy is, unfortunately, never discussed in the profile. Surely their average guest has a standing appointment with a pedicurist.
Also, given Kanye’s near-obsessive attention to detail, I have to ask: Is there a bootie-dispenser somewhere by the door, à la high-end bathing suit shop that gives you gauze underwear before trying on bikini bottoms? Like those raggedy hose socks you get at a shoe store? Are these fabric booties Yeezy-beige? Has anyone ever slipped while wearing those? This house has so many sharp corners and some expensive art!
There’s also a more pressing matter: that of the children. In case you forgot, this all-white palace is also the house of four kids , the oldest of which is only 6 years old. We’re waiting for Kim to share a Twitter video where, instead of explaining how her sinks work, she tells us how the house stays so pristine.