In the great, wide world of astrology, compatibility is one of the trickiest subjects to tackle. Formulas that may or may not pinpoint your sign's perfect match abound, and it seems like anyone who's ever read a horoscope has a theory of their own to contribute. As Refinery29's resident horoscope writer, I wish I could tell you I'm going to set the record straight on sign compatibility once and for all, but I'm actually going to make a confession.
As much as I delight in trying to apply logic and guidelines to matters of the stars in all of the astrological articles I write, I don't follow all of those guidelines in my everyday life. And there's one, in particular, that I tend to eschew: By some astrologers' estimations (including those of our friends, the Astrotwins), my boyfriend of four years, Denis, is a Cancer. But, according to others, he's actually a Gemini — which I refuse to believe.
For the record, Denis's birthday is 21st June, which is sometimes called a "cusp" birthday — he was born on a day that, depending on the year, may fall into the date range for Gemini or Cancer. (Most astrologers who believe in the "cusp" say any dates between the 18th and the 23rd of the month can go either way.)
As a writer, I try to give all astrological perspectives equal weight. But, as a woman who may read too much into her own horoscope, I have to take a side here. For my own selfish, superstitious reasons, I've made an executive decision about his astrological identity: He is a Cancer, plain and simple.
Nothing against Geminis — my mother and some of my best friends are Geminis. But, as a Capricorn, I just cannot believe that I'd ever date one, since Gems and Caps don't always make great couples. Beyond that, Denis would make the least believable Gemini. All those nasty things you hear about Gems aren't true, but they do have a particular way of going through the world (read: rapidly and loudly) that just doesn't fit Denis' style. His patient temperament and love of staying in scream "Cancer" to me.
But, considering Denis couldn't care less about his sign even if he tried, this decision probably says more about me than my relationship. For the most part, I like to think that astrology can help me make sense of the world, providing I learn and follow its rules — like I said, I'm a Capricorn. I accept what the planets, elements, and houses rule. I keep tabs on upcoming retrogrades, just in case I need to adjust my plans. But, the Gemini-Cancer cusp is where I choose to rebel. Gemini season ends on June 20 and Cancer commences on June 21. Period.
Shockingly enough, ignoring this one rule has not affected how I write about or relate to astrology. As NASA will tell you, astrology is not an exact science, so it'd be silly to expect anyone to adhere to all of its teachings to the letter.
Let this be a friendly reminder that, even if you take your horoscope very seriously (and trust me, I do), there is always wiggle room if you want it. Maybe you're oddly selective about which signs you date. Maybe you ignore warnings about outer planet retrogrades. Whichever rule you choose to break is up to you — and know that I'm right there with you.