Who Would You Rather Trust With Your Life: Vin Diesel Or The Rock?

Photo: Moviestore/Rex/REX USA.
If television and cinema are to be believed, it’s only a matter of time before you’ll find yourself in an apocalyptic situation. This could happen in a variety of ways. Destruction could come as a zombie takeover, a virus that wipes out most of the population, aliens, several simultaneous natural disasters — just pick your poison.

The one thing that is guaranteed about the end times, however, is that Vin Diesel or Dwayne Johnson — a.k.a. The Rock — will be there. In this imagined scenario, it’s unlikely that you could have both of them to help you survive. That’s why they’re always doing the same thing, just in different movies.

So you’ve got a choice to make, friend. If one outreached hand is coming from Johnson and the other is coming from Diesel, whose do you grab? WHOSE?
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Photo: Courtesy of Aperture Entertainment.
The Last Witch Hunter (2015)
In Diesel's latest installment, he is literally hunting witches. Feels like a useful skill to have, given how uncertain I am of how paranormal end times may or may not be.
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Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)
But then, Johnson is so adept. Just look at how he had G.I. Joe's back as Roadblock. Look at that massive machine gun thing. I'm probably around the same weight as that gun, so he could theoretically carry me around with no problem for hours at a time.
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Photo: Courtesy of One Race Productions.
A Man Apart (2003)
What makes me hesitant about Diesel is that he sometimes plays these guys with a PAST, man. Like a criminal past that he's trying to leave behind. But can you ever truly leave that behind? Risky.
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
The Game Plan (2007)
Johnson has a proven ability to meet the demands of little girls. I am 100% an adult female, but I think that if I have to go days without food or running water, I will probably turn into a similar version of this kid. So if he has patience for that, maybe he's the better choice.
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
The Pacifier (2005)
But then you see a picture of Diesel wearing two babies and you're like, That could be me.
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Photo: Courtesy of Paramount Pictures.
Hercules (2014)
But wait a minute. Johnson as Hercules is a pretty compelling argument. HERCULES, you guys.
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Photo: Courtesy of Universal Pictures.
Furious 7 (2015)
You also have to consider how invested your hero is in your safety. Diesel's like, "I don't have friends, I have family." So he obviously takes his crew very seriously. Also, driving skills are a plus.
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Photo: Courtesy of New Line Cinema.
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island (2012)
But what of Johnson's prowess on mysterious islands? Useful, for sure.
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Photo: Courtesy of New Line Cinema.
San Andreas (2015)
But who could stop Johnson from keeping his daughter safe in San Andreas? No one. Plus, I am afraid of flying and he's all about getting me through the air safely.
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Photo: Courtesy of Exclusive Media.
Snitch (2013)
Let's not forget the value of being able to sneak around undercover, though.
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Photo: Courtesy of Warner Bros.
The Iron Giant (1999)
Another important thing to consider: Diesel may actually be a transformer.
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Photo: Courtesy of Handmade Films.
Planet 51 (2009)
Though Johnson was an animated astronaut, which feels extremely practical if we have to evacuate Earth for some reason.
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Photo: Courtesy of Marvel Studios.
Guardians Of The Galaxy (2014)
Speaking of space, Diesel had a hell of a time as Groot. He sacrificed himself to save an entire group of people who were kind of jerks. That's heroism, man!
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Photo: Courtesy of Twentieth Century Fox.
Tooth Fairy (2010)
Johnson's role as the tooth fairy feels relevant to this discussion. Name one thing more useful than being able to fly.
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Photo: Courtesy of MNP Enterprise.
Babylon A.D. (2008)
It cannot be ignored, however, that Diesel has proven how good at smuggling he is. He could hide me right in this little pocket as he handles bad guys. They wouldn't even know I was there!
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Photo: Courtesy of Universal Pictures.
The Scorpion King (2002)
The Scorpion King has no pockets, but he doesn't need any because he's the effing Scorpion King.
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Photo: Courtesy of One Race Productions.
Chronicles Of Riddick (2004)
Though Diesel could channel his inner Riddick and we could just spend years and years avoiding bounty hunters.
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Photo: Courtesy of Disney.
Race To Witch Mountain (2009)
Personally, I really value anyone with experience in handling the paranormal.
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Photo: Courtesy of Dreamworks.
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
So they're both clearly strong and agile leaders. It really comes down to personality. Will I go for nice-guy Diesel, who saves children from wartime rubble, even if it means getting killed along the way?
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Photo: Courtesy of Spike.
Lip Sync Battle (2015)
No, I go with the man who is more entertaining. The apocalypse will probably last for a long ass time and I'd rather hang out with the guy who isn't afraid to lip sync "Shake It Off."
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