Writing the perfect Twitter bio is a tricky, tricky business. The best ones are crafted — and we do mean crafted — to appear like no time or effort was clocked, but that is not the case. It never is. So, we were thrilled to see The New York Times dissect just what makes a Twitter bio successful, with the industry acknowledging that Hillary Clinton's bio takes the cake. (In case you needed a refresher, hers impeccably reads: “Wife, mom, lawyer, women & kids advocate, FLOAR, FLOTUS, US Senator, SecState, author, dog owner, hair icon, pantsuit aficionado, glass ceiling cracker, TBD ...”)
Calling the Twitter bio a "postmodern art form," the Times says it's a unique social feature that world-famous celebrities, "special snowflakes," and "suburban dads" can individually perfect to meet their own agenda.
Of course, the more famous you are, the less direct and self-promotional you need to be. Very few actors actually use bios to promote their latest project (though musicians seem to love it). "Quirky" actors like Patton Oswalt or Lena Dunham, who have a natural advantage in esoteric tweeting, prefer to include obscure facts about themselves. And others simply win us over with their unexpected charm and wit. So, who are the wittiest of them all? Here are our top contenders.
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Zach Braff goes the bizarro confessional comedy route. It works.
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Anna Kendrick goes the "cute but self-aware" route. Props for the seascape backdrop, which we guess is a nod to her Maine roots.
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Ellen Page is just one of the many actresses who find it fit to make reference to their petite frames via Twitter.
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Sarah Silverman isn't into L.A. smoke and mirrors. She's molecular and lives just north of Kabul.
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Louis C.K. might be the most popular comic around right now, but he's also just a guy sitting there. We think Sarah Silverman would approve of this bio.
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Kristen Bell, the original pint-sized dynamo, makes her height, and stance on vertical politics, adamantly clear.
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Mia Farrow, one of the most iconic actresses in history, wants you to know she is trying. So are we, Mia, so are we.
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Shouldn't that location read "pineapple under the sea," Elizabeth Banks?
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Michael Bluth is a friend of G.O.B. (Though, Jason Bateman really missed an opportunity to make a Batman joke here...)
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Now we ain't sayin' she's a golddigger, but Chrissy Teigen is.
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