This story includes sexually explicit language.
Welcome to Demystified, Unbothered’s spirituality series for Black and brown folx. Through a lens of reclamation, Unbothered is helping its audience reconnect with ancestral practices while debunking myths and misconceptions. As stigma surrounding non-Christian spiritual practices fades and Black and brown folx reclaim spiritual tools for self-healing, we’re educating our readers while making spirituality accessible for the seasoned practitioner, the curious and uninitiated, and everyone in between. This month we're discussing how to use masturbation as a manifestation technique to actualize our visions and goals.
Manifestation is defined by Vocabulary.com as the public display of emotion, feeling, or something theoretical made real. Or how the old folks would plainly put it: what you think about you bring. Whether by prayers, crystals, or mantras, we are all in some way looking to harness a power greater than ourselves to make our dreams a reality. As a Black girl from the South, I can still hear my mother chastising me whenever I went down a rabbit hole of self-doubt or loathing. “There is power in the tongue, Kourtney,” she would always say.
Even now, whenever I’m writing down my goals or sharing my dreams, I am mindful about always speaking over them in the present tense. There is something so powerful about speaking over your things as if they have already happened and the joy felt when they finally come to pass. Words mean things and carry so much weight. They influence how we view ourselves and what we believe to be possible. They can inspire one person or uplift an entire community. So much power is held in the tongue alone, but what about the rest of our body?
We are constantly exchanging energy with others and the world around us, performing “rituals” each day as we go about our regularly scheduled programs in the boardroom and even the bedroom. Sex, whether solo or partnered, carries a profound amount of energy. (Uh hello, soul ties, anyone!?) So what would it look like to harness that energy and use it to bring one’s dreams into fruition via manifestation masturbation? After my Dry January journey, I had gained a better understanding of my relationship with solo sex and wanted to explore more. While researching, I was met with articles about the power of the vulva and the ancient art of manifestation. When we look at things like chakras, the second chakra is the sacral chakra which is rooted in how we feel and sexual energy. Things like tantra go beyond breathing exercises and encourages those who practice to align their breath and energy. As Black women and femmes seek deeper connections with their bodies and sensualities, they are looking for explanations via podcasts, #spirittok, and Instagram for answers.
To understand manifestation masturbation on a deeper level I needed to reach out to someone with ties to the other side. Without hesitation, I called upon Amber the Conduit. Formerly Amber The Alchemist, she’s a spiritual powerhouse using the tools passed down to her to create a community hub for those seeking spirit-led consultations, stylecasting, readings, and more. Not to mention, her accuracy is beyond! These days, given the ways ancestral practices and magic overall have been invalidated and demonized, she aims to “help rebuild that trust with the world that our gifts were given to us to guide people through their journey on Earth and use our innate connection to Spirit to enhance our experience in a meaningful way that leaves a generational imprint.” Part of this mission includes educating me about manifestation masturbation. “I like to use the term ‘sex magick,’ and it is essentially harnessing your sexual energy through the orgasm to mindfully and intentionally manifest a personal desire, vision, or goal,” she explains to me over email. Below, I chatted with Amber to better understand spirit and the basics of manifestation masturbation. Get ready to take notes.
Unbothered: What are some key things that connect spirituality and sensuality?
Amber The Conduit: Our bodies are naturally intuitive. Whether it’s your stomach growling to inform you of your hunger or headaches when you’re around some bad juju, our bodies are in constant communication with us, which is such a spiritual experience. To me, sensuality is about connection and awareness. Being in tune with how you feel and what brings you pleasure parallels spirituality and one’s intuitive awareness. Both are rooted in connection to self.
How do these connections manifest during intimate moments?
ATC: Anytime we’re interacting with someone or something, it’s an energy exchange. So you could imagine that sex, especially the act of penetration, is the ultimate exchange of energy and intimacy. It’s also one of the easiest ways to transfer energy. We are all vibrating on different frequencies, and when you connect with someone through sex, you are essentially swapping emotions, moods, and often DNA. When you’re intimate with someone who’s operating on high vibrations, you leave the act feeling invigorated and blissful, whereas connecting with someone on a lower frequency can you leave you feeling drained, dull or even agitated. This is where spiritual cleansing comes in, such as yoni steams and salt baths to recalibrate your energy and release whatever’s been built up. Yoni steams are especially helpful to help release sexual shame, trauma, and energies of prior partners.
What makes sexual energy so powerful?
ATC: Sexual energy and creative energy all come from the same powerful source. The same energy that one uses to bring life into the world can also be used to bring new projects, ideas, partnerships, etc. into the world, too. People sleep on the power of the orgasm, but it’s more than just a euphoric feeling. That single blip in time has the potential to create an entirely new world. Once you honor its power, you can ritualize your sexual encounters so that it not only feels amazing, but also ushers in new energy into your life.
What are the basics of this practice and the necessary precautions?
ATC: The biggest element is intention. Don’t forget that manifestation isn’t limited to material experiences, you can also manifest peace, happiness, love, joy. So take some time to think about how you want to use your energy to call in this new thing. Maybe journal about it, write a petition beforehand and place it under your pillow, make a vision board, or even just meditate with a single word that represents what you’re trying to manifest. As you are pleasuring yourself or in the act, connect with what you’re manifesting through feeling. How will you feel once this thing is in your life? What will your life look like? What positive changes will you experience? Think of the orgasm as the “send” button. Once you hit that peak your body sends signals out to the Universe of what you’re trying to manifest. And so it is!
Not only do you have to be connected to your body, but you also have to be hyper conscious of your thoughts. It’s important to be aware of our own self-sabotaging thoughts that diminish our confidence, capabilities, and sovereignty. We program our subconscious mind through the stories we tell ourselves and memories we hold on to, so it’s crucial to replace any harmful, toxic, or negative thoughts with those that are empowering. With any manifestation practice, your thoughts, the words you speak and your actions must all be in alignment, working together as a team. If you’re reciting affirmations or making petitions but you don’t believe in them or your own ability to manifest, it combats what you’re trying to manifest. You also can’t expect something to magically manifest without being willing to put in the work and meet the Universe halfway.
What does doing the work to align your spirit and your sensuality look like?
ATC: The foundational practice is believing in your own power and being comfortable with who you are exactly where you are right now. A lot of us make plans and set intentions for the person who we want to become rather than who we are in this moment, and we miss out on the magic of seeing that the power has always been in you. When you are able to honor yourself, especially your body, for who it is in the now, you are able to connect with yourself on a deeper level and cultivate self-adoration. When you admire yourself is when you feel the most sensual and you believe that you are deserving of pleasure without conditions.
What do you believe is the root of our community's newfound interest in spirit, energy, magik, and manifestation?
ATC: The Age of Aquarius is pushing us away from conformity, group-think and restrictions that have been placed on us. From social conditioning to religious conditioning, we’ve all experienced projections that enforces limitations upon our own choices, beliefs, and ways of being. I think we’re collectively growing tired of accepting these outdated systems that [block us from] our own truth. Through that pursuit, we’re uncovering that so much that has been taught to has been embellished, while a lot of valuable information has been demonized or even hidden from us. There’s an interest in the unknown, and spirituality is one of those things that is felt but not always seen. Many of us are starting to embrace the unseen, as did many of our ancestors, and along the way are unlocking different practices that connect us to Spirit.