Lohan Beach Club Episode 2: Everyone Is Disposable

Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
Welcome back to Mykonos, LoFam!
Lots of shenanigans are in store for the VIP Ambassadors at Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club but first: business. Lindsay wants everyone to write down their intention in life and day-clubbing and then share. The intentions include "showing that I live and breathe hospitality" to "providing opportunities for the Greek people."
Lindsay's intention is to spread love and remember to "always call Oprah." (Oprah is Lindsay's version of 911.)
With this trust exercise over the hosts meet their newest VIP client, Lakas. Lakos is a fashion designer serving up some Derelicte realness. He's wearing a turban and a hat. He also has two cute doggos but, as he tells erstwhile host Aristotle, he'd rather not talk about them because "they don't understand anything." What he would like is a grapefruit juice and a nice Greek-American boy to wash his dirty feet with hot towels. Done and done!
Back at the Host Villa, Sarah has found herself in a love triangle with Brett and Billy (who honestly could be a brand new character because I don't remember ever having seen him before). Billy (if that is indeed his real name) moves in on Brett's courtship of Sarah — which includes him telling her she looks better without makeup and opining on the attractiveness of the baby they would make together — by basically just not being a dick. Sarah's into that!
So Billy and Brett have a bro-down and Brett tells Billy he doesn't even want Sarah anymore because she's only a 2. Then Sarah dumps tequila over his head and all the girls gather inside to participate in the great time-honored tradition of talking shit in a group about one other person which, of course, brings them together. It's actually really cute.
Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
Brett gets wasted(er) and Billy takes him outside and pats him on the back and encourages him to throw up in a really kind way. Billy, you are now my favorite character.
The next morning it's back to business! The hosts aren't the only ones fed up with Brett's behavior. Panos gives him a public dressing down. Brett takes issues with Panos' leadership skills and over mid-shift glasses of rose he explains that he explains that his "back aches from carrying the team." Oy. This man loves metaphors.
Panos calls Lindsay and does an imitation of Brett which is literally just Panos saying, "Yap yap yap," and is entirely accurate.
Lindsay's response? "They're disposable." She can have 10 more people like him tomorrow. This is extremely true. The episode closes out with Lindsay and Panos deciding they might not be done hiring hosts after all.
In our sneak peek of next week's episode Lindsay holds a water gun and references Putin again so, of course, I will be tuned in.

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