Lil Xan’s fiancée, Annie Smith, shared the devastating news on Saturday that she recently suffered through a miscarriage.
Smith posted a series of photos and videos on Instagram, and wrote a caption eulogizing her lost baby.
“[T]oday i feel a hurt i never knew existed,” Smith wrote. “a pain that comes from my soul. to my beautiful angel, mommy loves you more than she ever knew possible. you have made me the happiest woman in the world knowing i had the chance to be your mommy.”
The photos and videos showed Smith with Xan (real name Nicholas Diego Leanos). She said they were taken in the first days and months of her pregnancy.
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“[F]eeling you grow inside my body has been the most special gift i have been given, my prayers were answered with you,” Smith continued. “i wish more than anything that i could meet you, hold you and love you. teach you all the beautiful things in life and show you the world. i wish you could’ve known how truly blessed you were to have a daddy like diego. we love you little angel.”
Xan has not publicly posted any details about the miscarriage. Earlier in the day, the SoundCloud rapper shared on his Instagram story that he might be “M.I.A.” over the next few days to get his “mind right,” though he did not mention a specific reason why.
According to the women’s health nonprofit March For Dimes, about 10-15% of pregnancies end in miscarriages. Yet there is often a stigma surrounding miscarriage, and many women feel isolated and struggle to cope after the fact.
Smith and Xan announced they were expecting a baby back in February. Shortly after the news broke, Smith confirmed to E! News that they were also engaged.
Following their announcement, the couple began receiving negative comments from social media trolls who claimed the couple was posting doctored photos of Smith’s ultrasounds and faking the pregnancy. Smith posted a string of Instagram stories addressing how the hate was taking a toll on her health.
"The fact that it's basically being ruined or tarnished by the Internet is heartbreaking to me and it's really, really hard for me to deal with," Smith said.
Smith is currently traveling with Xan on his tour, which has taken the couple across the U.S., Europe, and Latin America.