A Week In Salem, Oregon On A $235,000 Joint Income

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We’re asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we’re tracking every last dollar.

Today: a communications specialist who has a $235,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on a tattoo.

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Occupation: Communications specialist
Industry: Labor
Age: 35
Location: Salem, Oregon
Salary: $135,000
Joint income: $235,000. My partner D. and I share all finances and pay for everything out of a joint account (I tracked his spending for the week, too). D. makes roughly $100,000 ($6,400 monthly take-home).
Assets: Home value: $700,000; 401(k): $135,000; HYSA: $13,000.
Debt: Mortgage: $480,000; HELOC: $55,000; student loans: $49,000; car loans: $65,000; credit card: $13,000.
Paycheck Amount (Bimonthly): $3,300
Pronouns: She/her

Monthly Expenses

Housing Costs: $3,800 for our mortgage.
Loan Payments: HELOC: $500; car payments: $1,300; student loans: $250. We pay $1000-$2000 towards our credit card debt every month.
Cell Phones: $240 (D. pays for his dad’s phone).
Gas/Electric: $300
Water: $150
Internet: $90
Garbage: $70
Streaming Subscriptions: $55
Therapy: $100 for copays on four sessions a month.
YMCA: $45
Supplementary Dental For D.: $68
Chewy: $200

Annual Expenses

Car insurance: $1,200 for both cars.
Chase Sapphire Reserve Fees: $650
Amazon Prime: $119
Costco: $60
Dental Cleaning: $1,000 (for the needy dog; we save monthly for this).
D.’s License Renewal: $105

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I know my mom hoped that I would go to college, but she didn’t really have the information about what that looked like financially. I got good grades and probably could have gotten scholarships based on our income status, but I didn’t know where to find them or how to apply. I took two years off between high school and college, but I got a bachelor’s degree and paid for it with Pell grants and student loans.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Most of the conversations I had with my mom about money were about how we didn’t have any. She didn’t (and still doesn’t) know much about personal finance and I doubt she has ever had more than $1,000 in savings at any given point of my life. My grandma taught me how to balance a checkbook (lol) when I was 19, and advised me to “pay myself first”. I couldn’t really afford to do that when I was younger, but I definitely do now.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job on the books was at a fast food restaurant my sophomore year of high school. I lied about my age to get hired and no one ever really checked? I got a job because I knew we couldn’t afford things like prom dresses or new clothes from the mall, and I wanted to fit in with my peers. I helped out with groceries and things around the house when I could, and I brought home a lot of free food from work.

Did you worry about money growing up?
Constantly. I lived in fear of being evicted, or not having enough food in the house, or getting the power or water shut off from a very young age. We didn’t have stable housing for most of my childhood and I went to five different elementary schools in five years. My mom was mentally ill and could not reliably work. We lived on state assistance, which did not stretch very far.

Do you worry about money now?
Constantly. The past year has been really hard on my finances for a number of reasons. First, I bought a fixer-upper in 2023 and unexpected house repairs have completely drained my savings. I took out a $60,000 HELOC last year to take care of some emergent issues and it’s basically all gone. My partner D. and I are currently getting the house ready to sell this year because we just can’t keep up with everything this place needs and we hate living in Salem. I’m worried we’re not going to be able to sell it, or that we’ll have to sell it at a loss. Second, we fostered my 3-year-old nephew for five months and the added childcare expenses put us into debt. We went from having a little bit of savings every month, to going into quite a bit of credit card debt every month just from paying for daycare, all the extra food (kids be EATING), clothes (kids be GROWING), and all the little things no one tells you to prepare to spend money on when you have kids. He was reunited with my sister last month and we are just starting to address the financial fallout. I have never had so little in savings in my big adult life and it is terrifying that we don’t even have two months of expenses covered if something catastrophic were to happen to either of us. I’m aggressively paying off our credit card and I got a balance transfer offer from one of my existing cards with 0% so I’ll be able to pay it off within a year. I will feel a lot better once the house situation is figured out, but it’s a really scary time for me right now.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I moved out when I graduated at 17 and have been responsible for myself since then. I used to be married into a well-to-do family, and they were my safety net for a long time (one of the reasons it took so long for me to admit that I didn’t want to be in that marriage).

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
When I was married, my ex’s parents gave us $12,000 for a down payment on our first house. We sold that house four years later and made $150,000 in profit. I walked away from the marriage with about $85,000 in savings from the equity in our second house. It seems so crazy to me that such a relatively small leg-up is the reason I am doing okay in life right now, but I guess that’s how generational wealth works. I am lucky to have benefited from it a bit because I have absolutely nothing coming to me from my own family, except maybe a dilapidated double-wide trailer.

8 a.m. — Anxiety kept me awake until 2 a.m., so I am dragging ass this morning. D. kisses me goodbye and I lay in bed scrolling on RedNote to take my mind off all the terrible things happening in the world. I finally get dressed in some sweats and a puffer coat to take the dogs out for a rainy walk. When we get home they get breakfast and I drink some water and take my meds. I’m skipping my usual espresso (anxiety!) and opt for a decaf vanilla chai tea with some almond creamer. All of my pans are dirty, so I have to use the dreaded non-stick pancake pan to make a spinach and provolone scramble. I sit down at my laptop and start working on some website updates and a recap email from the committee that I co-chair at work. I’m relistening to the latest episode of Maintenance Phase because Aubrey and Michael’s cynical tones are soothing to me.

11 a.m. — It’s period week and I am in a world of pain. The anxiety, the cramps, the extra fatigue, the doom and despair, I got ’em all. Thank god my workload was heavier in the front half of the week. I take a break to load a mountain of dirty dishes into the dishwasher, make some more tea, and take some ibuprofen. I really just want to lay down on my heating pad and binge watch shitty reality TV. I sit back down at my laptop and send a couple of follow-ups to reporters about some story pitches I sent out earlier in the week.

1 p.m. — I heat up some teriyaki chicken from last night’s dinner, and sit down with my book to read for an hour. I’m reading The Poppy War by RF Kuang, which is good, but I do find the characters a bit one-dimensional. I read until my 2 p.m. meeting, which is just a weekly check-in with my boss. We spend most of the meeting talking about media strategy for the report we’ve been working on for months. It’s been picked up by all the major media outlets in the state, and we are working out how to get some national attention. I am assigned a video project due in about a month, so I make a list of things I need to pull together to prepare. 

4 p.m. — Wednesdays are for therapy. I have been seeing this therapist for a couple of months now, and I really like her. I had to switch providers after four years with my last one because she moved to a clinic that focuses on supporting low-income LGBTQ+ clients who are on state health insurance. I paid out of pocket for a long time, but while I had temporary guardianship of my nephew last year I couldn’t afford $500 a month. I’m working on internal family systems with the new provider right now and it has actually made a big difference in my relationship with my mom and sister lately. I’m charged my $25 copay (included in expenses).

5 p.m. — D. gets home and we make our monthly pilgrimage to Costco. We get chicken, hemp seeds, frozen fruit, some wine for the weekend, toilet paper, paper towels, and some snacky things. I am dreading the total when we get to the checkstand, but it’s not too terrible. $217

7 p.m. — Neither of us feels like cooking (especially me), so we order Thai food from the place down the street. I get tom kha pho and D. gets pad see ew and extra noodles. D. puts on the newest Bridget Jones movie while we eat and then we keep watching while we put together some shelves for the closets and my office. I end up with way too many leftover screws, which results in the whole shelf falling apart when we try to pick it up… I’m blaming this on period brain. D. helps me reassemble it correctly. I get the curtains put up in my office and it’s finally starting to look like “adult lady does big job” in here. By the time I get done, it’s after 11 p.m., which is way past my bedtime, but this has been a weird week. I brush my teeth and do my skincare routine (Vanicream face wash, The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid Serum, Farmacy Honey Halo) and then hit the sheets. $43

8 a.m. — I take the doggies out for a 30-minute walk around the neighborhood while listening to an old episode of Maintenance Phase. I don’t wear headphones because safety, so the whole neighborhood gets to listen along. I am An Old. When we get home, I feed the pups and then make myself an espresso and take my meds. I somehow lost my new bottle of Wellbutrin in my house (this is your brain on period) and I only have three pills left. I call the pharmacy for a replacement. $15

10 a.m. — I sign in for a virtual staff meeting that is going to take up most of the day. D. has an appointment today so he is off for the morning and goes to get some breakfast from a café. He pays for it with money from his side business (which is more like a hobby that pays for itself). I listen in on a presentation about new organizing efforts while drafting a DEI resolution for the board. With the all-out assault on LGBTQ+ communities by the current administration, we are ramping up our efforts to support and uplift queer members.

12:45 p.m. — My work is reimbursing for lunch today, but I have a lot of leftover pho so I just eat that. We have our staff union meeting during lunch break today, and I have a couple of issues to bring up. Being part of a union while also working for a union can be kind of confusing, but we are trying to be more organized and intentional as a group so I try to give input around actions we can take to make our workplace better as much as I can.

4 p.m. — Meeting is done! I get ready and drive downtown to get a tattoo, which is my birthday present. I had COVID-19 on my actual birthday a few weeks ago, which makes three years running that my birthday has been wrecked by illness. I am so excited to have a fun birthday celebration this weekend! I lock in for a three-hour session. I already paid a deposit for my appointment, so my total is $300, including tip. $300

7 p.m. — Finally home, and D. cleaned the whole house while I was gone, what a dreamboat. We order Qdoba for dinner and D. goes to pick it up. I swear we don’t eat out this much usually, but it has been a busy and weirdly scheduled week. I sit on the couch and commit to finishing The Poppy War and I think I’ve changed my mind about the character development issue, the pacing on the arc is just a bit slow for me. After dinner, D. and I watch an episode of Silo on Apple+. I change the sheets on the bed and put our new duvet cover on, then brush my teeth and do my skincare routine. $34

6:45 a.m. — I have a busy-ish day for the first half of today so I am up and at ’em early. I have to go into the office for a photoshoot and then I have three meetings right after, so I am just going to commandeer an empty conference room and take them at the office. I take a quick shower, blow dry my hair and put on some baggy Levi’s, Dr Martens, a striped T-shirt, and a pink leather jacket. I make an espresso to go and give D. and the doggie princesses a smooch. I head out with my camera gear and laptop and drop off my library books on the way to work.

10:30 a.m. — My 10 o’clock is canceled so I come home to finish tidying up the house before my bestie V. and her husband S. get here for the weekend. I also have not eaten and I am starving. I pour a bowl of cereal and make an espresso. I put some bottles of Prosecco in the bevvie fridge (the old gross fridge in the garage — I have reached PEAK middle class!) to chill for later and then hop onto my 11 a.m. call. I will be in meetings until 1 p.m. and then I’m going to cut out a little early to szhush up the guest room and catch up on some laundry.

1 p.m. — V. and S. are here! I haven’t seen them since Thanksgiving, and we haven’t had a kid-free weekend in literal years — this is a momentous occasion. D. comes home with many bags of groceries, I truly don’t know what he got besides snacks and beer. I pop a bottle of Prosecco to pregame for our evening activities. I show V. all the projects we’ve finished around the house since she was last here, and then the four of us hang around on the couch chatting and having some drinks and snacks until it’s time to leave. D. booked a booth at a bar that has golf simulators. We spend a couple of hours pretend-golfing but mostly real-drinking. D. already pre-paid for the golfing booth last week (it was $50 an hour), so V. covers the drinks. $275.00

7 p.m. — We stop by a dive to have another drink. D. puts $20 into a video poker machine and ends up winning $700! He gives me $400 of it to cover some of our weekend activities. We pay for the drinks ($30) and then D. drops us off at home and goes to pick up some pizzas ($57). We spend the rest of the night having a dance party and belly-laughing. We start a movie, but they’re parents of toddlers, so we are in bed before 10 p.m. $107

8 a.m. — I help D. make breakfast for all of us so we can get some food in our stomachs before we head out to go wine tasting. He is making brioche French toast, bacon, eggs, hash browns, and mixed berries. My brunch king. Our first stop is at 11 a.m. and it’s about an hour away. I put on a pair of black linen pants, a graphic tee, a checkerboard print jean jacket, and black Vans. Looking, feeling, smelling good. D. is our DD for the day since he’s not a big drinker.

11 a.m. — The first winery is a bubbles-only vintner, and the space is GOR-geous. We prepaid for this tasting last week ($200 for four people) and I buy one bottle of sparkling rosé for $65. We go to one more winery and pick up half a case that we already ordered. V. and I each get three bottles of (much cheaper) sparkling rosé and she insists on paying, since we bought the tastings at the first place. We stop for lunch at a barbecue joint and D. and I split a platter with brisket, sausage, and pork belly ($50). I give it 5/10, but I’m very picky about brisket. $115

3 p.m. — I’ve scheduled a tarot reading for V. and I! I have been learning about tarot for a couple of years now, but I have never actually had a reading done, so I am really excited. It has been a turbulent last six months for me, and I am looking for guidance on how to fill my life with more peace and harmony while also being terrified of what’s coming in the next four years. The woman doing our reading owns the metaphysical store that I come to for witch supplies, and she is absolutely lovely and insightful. V. wants to pay, but I already had cash to pay for the session (plus the extra from D.’s poker win) so I get there first. $100

7 p.m. — We had reservations for dinner tonight, but our tarot reading went long and I have done too many activities today — I am too old and tired to go to four different places in the car in one day. D. goes to the store to get fancy steaks and some other accoutrements and then makes us the most delicious ribeye with blue cheese butter, smashed potatoes, and Caesar salads. And it’s way cheaper than going out. We finish a bottle of rosé and then everyone but me takes a microdose of mushrooms (I’m too anxious for psychedelics, lol). We cluster on the couch and watch You’re Cordially Invited, which is hilarious. $132

8:45 a.m. — The weekend went by way too fast :( V. and S. are leaving today, but we go out to our favorite greasy spoon for breakfast before they head out. Having my best friend around makes me miss having a community of people so badly. I have had a really hard time finding friends in Salem, and the last year and a half here have been really lonely. I didn’t realize how isolated this move would make me feel, and I am really ready to be done with this chapter of my life. V. pays for breakfast before I can even get my card out.

10:30 a.m. — I am exhausted and have major acid reflux from the late nights, drinking, snacking, and excitement of the past two days. I take some Tums and lay on the couch to recover with The Prefect by Alistair Reynolds. After a couple of hours I eat some pita chips with spinach artichoke dip and then read for a while longer.

3 p.m. — In the spirit of not wasting an entire afternoon, I grab a sparkling water and spend some hours going through the Room of Requirement (a giant flex space in the back of our house that is filled to the brim with all varieties of shit). There are a lot of boxes in here that have been pilfered and left to die for over a year. I find the ones that contain all my books and tchotchkes and move them into my office to organize them on my new bookshelf. I also set up my portable barre and my walkpad, and organize all my yoga gear. For five months, this was a toddler’s bedroom, so I am still putting it back together and reclaiming my space. This is my office/barre and yoga studio/witchcraft lair/craft room, so I am trying to create discrete spaces for each of those things. D. helps me hang up some of my prints. I am actually excited to work in here this week!

7 p.m. — We have a bunch of leftovers, so D. puts another salad together, bakes some potatoes, and warms up the steak from last night for dinner. I feed my sourdough starter and then we sit on the couch together so I can read and he can scroll on his phone for a while before bed.

8:30 a.m. — I am taking a flex day because I had to work an all-day event in D. gives me a kiss on the way out the door, and I lay in bed until 9:30-ish. Once I’m up, I feed the dogs, pour myself a bowl of cereal, and then start prepping the many returns I need to make today. I have to go to the UPS Store, FedEx, AND the Post Office. I’m pretty sure going to all three in one day opens up a portal to hell.

11:30 a.m. — Finally back home, I make an espresso and chug it while I tidy up the kitchen. Then I make another one and do some organizing in my office, switch some laundry and fold the clean load, clean off my nightstand (where bobby pins and Waterloo cans go to die) and make my bed. After I’m done cleaning, I make a bowl of tuna salad and eat it with pita chips for lunch.

5:30 p.m. — D. gets home and starts prepping some enchiladas for dinner. He stopped by the store to get me a big bag of coffee beans because I’m almost out, bless him ($19). While he cooks, I order some laminate samples for our kitchen project ($10). We don’t want to spend a fortune on countertops, so we’re just going to cover the existing laminate with a fresh sheet. Our plan is to sell the house this summer and move back to Portland, but we’ll see how far we get on the needed renovations… I eat a third of a pint of Phish Food for dessert. $29

7:30 p.m. — I FaceTime my nephew because it’s his birthday today: the big 3! He is coming to stay with us this weekend, so I don’t mind that he has zero interest in talking to me. After we hang up, I sit down with a glass of Prosecco at my new altar space and work with my cards for a bit. Then I light some candles and do a guided meditation on the CHANI app. I will ride till I die for Chani Nicholas. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to the end of a weekend and not had the Sunday Scaries (or Monday Malcontents), but I feel like this weekend has been the perfect balance of fun, rest, and productivity. I’m actually excited for the week ahead. D. and I snuggle up on the couch while I finish the last few chapters of The Prefect (I loved it) and then I shower and blow dry my hair before bed.

7 a.m. — I got such good sleep last night, and I’m ready to start my week off right. I put on a Girlfriend Collective set and throw an org sweatshirt over it and head to the Y to do a bit of upper-body lifting. I was sick for basically five months straight when my nephew lived here because he brought home a new daycare disease every other week, so this is the first time I’ve been at the gym since November. I do easy sets so I don’t hurt myself and it’s still hard AF. It’s a gorgeous sunny morning, so when I get home, I take the dogs for a quick walk and then feed them and make myself some eggs and avocado.

9:30 a.m. — I make an espresso and sit down at my desk. I finally have my monitors back and I forgot how amazing it is to be able to organize my desktop on multiple screens! I work through my emails from yesterday and make a to-do list in my planner (paper and pen for life). I start working on a press pitch for one of my locals who is dealing with some majorly shady shit from management. I also need to figure out a game plan for the video assignment I got last week. I email the members I want to interview so I can get that rolling and then start thinking about the narrative and shots I want to get. Our team is small, so we all do our own producing, videography/photography and editing. My Chewy subscription hit the credit card this morning ($200 for two bags of dog food, listed in expenses).

11 a.m. — I have to go into the office for a bargaining session that is probably going to take up most of my afternoon. I put on some striped Big Bud Press pants, a striped tee, some white Vans, and a big cardigan. Working in labor means it’s casual Friday every day, which I love. I make an espresso to go (the coffee at work is a step below Starbucks) and pack up my laptop. They’re catering lunch, but it’s probably going to be Chipotle, dread. I contemplate packing some leftover enchiladas, but I’m running late, so Chipotle it is. God, I miss living in the city.

3:45 p.m. — Finally home, and thank god, because I need to take this bra off immediately. I grab a San Pellegrino sparkling water and some gummy candy and head to my office to finish up for the day. I write an outline of the recap email that I need to send out to members about the meeting today, and draft a script for a quick video that will accompany it. I also build a Google form for an upcoming event, and write an email to the members we’ll be inviting. Then I send off the pitch I wrote earlier to a couple of reporter contacts I have.

7 p.m. — I clean up the kitchen, which is pretty gross from last night. D. does almost all of the meal planning, grocery shopping, and cooking, so I try to make sure he always has a clean kitchen. There are a ton of enchiladas left from last night so I think we’re just going to eat that tonight. We watch an episode of Silo while we eat, and then he goes to work on his side business for a while and I go into my office to do a quick yoga/stretching session and then meditate and journal. I do my skincare routine and brush my teeth and then lay down in bed to read. I’m starting The Secret History by Donna Tartt, which has been recommended to me by literally everyone. I loved The Goldfinch, so I am expecting good things.

“I’ve done a few of these (the one mentioned at the beginning of this diary, plus previous ones in 2023 and 2020), and somehow I always end up choosing very high-spend weeks when I record Money Diaries! I definitely spent a lot this week because of my birthday celebrations, but the two days after my fun weekend are more indicative of how D. and I actually live. We are boring people who do boring shit. Our finances have been a rollercoaster for this past year, and we are finally starting to level out. We still have a long road ahead of us to get this house ready to sell, and the purse strings are still going to be tight, so I am happy to splurge a little bit when we have an opportunity to enjoy ourselves. Plus, D.’s side business has actually started making real money in the months since I wrote this diary!”