8 Things You Need To Know This AM — Mar 06 2015

Obvious Child star Jenny Slate is finally getting her own show. She'll topline an FX pilot helmed by Child's co-writers, Gillian Robespierre and Elisabeth Holm. Calvin Klein reportedly won't pursue the thief who stole Lupita Nyong'o's Oscar dress because the pearls weren't real, meaning that the value touted in the news might be grossly inflated. Def Jam Records confirmed that the leaked Kanye West album track list that's been making the rounds on Twitter is fake.  Remembrances are pouring in from musicians over the news that beloved Radio 1 host Zane Lowe is leaving to pursue a yet-to-be-revealed role at Apple. Watch an anxiety-inducing video of an octopus trying to escape from its tank at the Seattle Aquarium. Although it feels like something out of a horror film, the aquarium insisted the octopus was just "exploring his boundaries." In an interesting use of facial recognition technology, this billboard depicts a domestic violence survivor whose bruises heal faster when more people look at her.  Today in #TheDress that just won't go away news: a white and gold version can now be purchased, and its proceeds go to charity. An intrepid redditor calculated that How I Met Your Mother's Barney Stinson earned a legendary $1,173,312 per year, much of which went to new suits.