A$AP Rocky (real name: Rakim Mayers) has had a year. First, he was arrested in Sweden for alleged assault — a legal ordeal that ended up involving President Trump. He now is dealing with an alleged sex tape that not only leaked but has people criticizing his abilities in the bedroom. Despite the huge violation of privacy, Rocky handled the situation with humor, appearing to confirm his appearance in the tape on Twitter when he posted a playful, explicit message.
The video, which does not show Rocky's face but features a man the same tattoos as him, leaked onto Pornhub on Wednesday, according to Page Six. It prompted a wave of comments from people calling his sexual performance "weak." As the representative for his penis, Mayers was having none of that.
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"MY PENIS AND I WOKE UP 2 THE ALARMING DISTURBANCE OF A VIDEO CLIP 2DAY," he wrote on Twitter. "AS HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY WE’RE PREPARED 2 DENY ANY SLOW STROKES OR LACK OF KILLIN THE PUSSY .A LONG LIST OF SATISFIED WOMEN CAN ATTEST TOO. BUT THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS SEEING PPL WHO NEVER FUCKED HIM RATE HIM."
MY PENIS AND I WOKE UP 2 THE ALARMING DISTURBANCE OF A VIDEO CLIP 2DAY .AS HIS DEFENSE ATTORNEY WE’RE PREPARED 2 DENY ANY SLOW STROKES OR LACK OF KILLIN THE PUSSY .A LONG LIST OF SATISFIED WOMEN CAN ATTEST TOO. BUT THE REAL PUNCHLINE IS SEEING PPL WHO NEVER FUCKED HIM RATE HIM 😮
— LORD FLACKO JODYE II (@asvpxrocky) December 19, 2019
As you can imagine, this statement did nothing to stop people talking about this story. In fact, other celebrities even jumped in, with Ariana Grande wing-womaning her childhood friend Courtney Chipolone.
"my friend courtney says it looks just fine !" Grande quote-tweeted the statement. "(@ courtneychipolone on ig)"
"merry christmas courtney" she added.
my friend courtney says it looks just fine ! (@ courtneychipolone on ig) https://t.co/CUUXSBjTO5
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) December 20, 2019
merry christmas courtney
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) December 20, 2019
I don't think there's a more appropriately bizarre way to wrap up this year — nay, decade — than A$AP Rocky's alleged leaked sex tape landing him a date with the BFF of the world's arguably biggest pop star. It's almost heartwarming. Almost.
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