"David After Dentist" is shaking, because "Taylor After Lasik Eye Surgery" is coming for its crown. While Taylor Swift is notoriously private about her personal life ever since the Kim Kardashian-Kanye West debacle, her mother, Andrea Smith, is under no such obligation. Not only did she film her daughter on heavy medication after receiving Lasik surgery, she sent it directly to Jimmy Fallon.
Swift appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon on Thursday night ahead of her Saturday Night Live performance, where the host aired the secret footage for the entire world to see.
The video, which took current-day Swift totally by surprise, was taken in her home immediately after the procedure. She's wearing giant protective goggles that are taped to her head and attempting to get herself a banana. However, the combination of drugs and hunger means Swift was overly emotional.
“That wasn’t the one I wanted!” she cries in the clip after attempting to pull a banana from the bunch and breaking the wrong one.
“Stop, you can’t cry!" her mother says. "That’s not supposed to be what you’re doing!”
Swift tearfully explains that she was trying to get a different banana, which her mom graciously retrieves.
“What do we do with this one now?” Swift asks. Her mom says she'll just eat it, but Swift laments that the original banana “doesn’t have a head.”
The video cuts to probably the money shot from the footage, which is Swift tucked in bed, sleepily chomping on a 'nanner.
“Don’t fall asleep eating the banana!” her mom says.
“I’m not asleep, my mind is alive!” Swift replies, unknowingly creating the slogan for a thousand Swiftie t-shirts, and maybe even an upcoming song lyric.
Back with Fallon, Swift is flabbergasted.
“That’s on television!” she says as Fallon keeps his distance behind the desk in fear of Swift's wrath. The fact that her mom gave it to him makes it an even bigger betrayal.
“She was kind enough to drive me there but cruel enough to film it and give it to you!” Swift exclaimed.
Watch the full post-surgery clip below.