Anyone who thinks women are more dramatic than men hasn't tuned into a season of The Bachelorette. Infighting has been a staple of this franchise forever, but this year's Bachelorette is ready for the "stupid shit" to stop and for the men to start taking things seriously. In fact, Hannah's speech to her Bachelorette men in episode 6 could have been delivered to almost any set of Bachelorette men, because none of this behavior is new to the series. And none of it is acceptable.
The issue that prompted Hannah's totally understandable frustration could be boiled down to "stupid shit" just like every other Bachelorette season's major drama. was an endless circular fight between Garrett and Luke and the rest of the men about whether or not Luke talked about other contestants on his date with Hannah. It was a pointless conversation to witness, and Hannah was sick of being part of it and hearing it and having it be the focus of the cocktail party. That's when she stepped in to put an end to everything once and for all.
First she addressed Luke, who has been upsetting her for several episodes now. "Luke, you need to stop making excuses," she said plainly. Then she addressed the rest of the men, telling them that she was just as frustrated by them as by Luke. They were not innocent in all this.
Focus on me, and know that I'm a grown-ass woman.
Hannah Brown, The Bachelorette
"Stop the focus on him, because I can figure that out for myself. And focus on me, and know that I'm a grown-ass woman, and I can decide if I want to spend my time figuring all this out, or if I don't," she said. But she wasn't done chiding them. "Please stop pointing fingers at other people, and allow me to do that and focus on yourself ... It's truly all of you that makes me feel this way."
Then she added that all this drama has caused her connections to stall with all of the men. "None of you know anything about me, and why I'm here. And what makes me me, and things that I've gone through … Nobody's even asked, because all we do is talk about stupid shit … At this point, I'm just really defeated from all of you. So, I don't want to do this."
Then she left the room, leaving her words hanging heavy with the reality that everything she said is true, not just of this set of dudes, but of Bachelorette drama in general.
The issue between Luke and the house has gotten in the way of Hannah trying to find love — which is the whole point of this show. Many of the contestants have spent too much time talking about other contestants and focusing all their energy on proving who is right and who is wrong. That takes away from the actual mission of the show, but more importantly, it's a waste of Hannah's time. This show isn't about these men — it's about her. She has every right to be upset.
Even though Hannah's speech was about the men on her season, we're just going to go ahead and apply it to the men on every season. Being a tattler or someone who is too focused on the drama rarely works out, largely because those dudes are more focused on screen time than the lead. Those drama-stirring or participating contestants go home in favor of contestants who make the lead feel like they're the only ones there. The Bachelorette wants to be focused on and treated well, and that includes having conversations about actual topics and things that genuinely matter. It's not her job, or responsibility, to mediate childish fights about nothing and witness he-said, he-said back-and-forths. It's counterproductive and it's just plain disrespectful.
The successful couples from this show have proven that contestants can find love this unique way if they prioritize their relationship and focus on themselves. If someone is there for the wrong reasons, it will eventually be revealed without others needing to stick their noses in everything. As Hannah said, "Focus on yourself" and let the "stupid shit" go.