We’ve tried ignoring them or giving them a prank phone number, but sometimes men just don’t get the hint that we want to be left alone. In these tricky situations, you need to bring out the heavy reinforcements — which Saturday Night Live hilariously recommends in the form of an urn, carrying ashes for the dearly departed. “Leave Me Alurn,” the newest travel-sized urn for when you want bothersome men to scatter like ashes in the wind.
The fake infomercial, which features this week’s SNL host and The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel star Rachel Brosnahan, presents a dilemma all too common for women doing things...anywhere. “I love exploring with no one to please but myself,” Brosnahan says in a voiceover, as she surveys a beautiful valley. “But when you’re a woman, there’s one very real danger: unwanted small talk.” Beck Bennett appears behind her, and starts rambling about “The episode of Twin Peaks where the girl gets murdered.” Hello, creepy.
Brosnahan then produced her Leave Me Alurn from her jacket, and pretends that she’s in the midst of honoring a loved one. Bennett, realizing what is happening, stumbles over his words as he tries to escape the horribly awkward situation. “Confrontation avoided!” she exclaims.
The infomercial describes the urn as a “conversation prophylactic,” with blowing ashes providing a safe 50-foot radius from annoying men. But like all devices in 2019, the Leave Me Alurn includes a phone charger and doubles as a water bottle. Too bad it’s not Wi-Fi-enabled — or real! In the meanwhile, we’ll continue to use our headphones to broadcast our desire to be left alone. Watch the sketch below.