We Tried Starbucks' New Frappuccino To See What Our Futures Hold

Photo: Courtesy of Starbucks.
"I'll be your Crystal Baller": Third Eye Blind song lyric, or Starbucks fortune-telling Frappuccino's tagline? Although we'll never tire of that early 2000s tune, today we're talking about a frozen coffee beverage instead.
The Crystal Ball Frappuccino just made its official debut at participating Starbucks locations nationwide. And because of its limited run (until March 26), we rushed out in the melting slush to have our destinies told by the new mystifying concoction. The Frappuccino is made from a peach-flavored crème base blended with edible turquoise sparkles (to create a cloudy "crystal ball" effect) and topped with a peach-flavored whipped cream. Why peach? I have no idea. But because it sounded alluringly springlike on a snowy day, I put my fruit-future pairing skepticism aside. Another intriguing element is that the drink is finished off with one of three colored candy gems that each predict a separate fate...revealed only after ordering:
Blue Foretells Adventure: "Better pack a snack today. Maybe an umbrella."
Green Foretells Luck: "Wherever you go, good fortune will follow.*"
Purple Foretells Magic: "Wonder and enchantment are headed your way. Also owls."
With the above prediction guidelines, I walked into a nearby Starbucks pulsing with anticipation. Even though I'd settle for any of the positive sprinkle-destinies, my heart was set on a more complex purple future — it held answers to a few burning questions on my mind: Will I magically become a morning person? Will I meet my soulmate on a dating app? Should I get a pet owl? I approached the counter, ordered a tall Crystal Ball, and...I got green.
Photo: Courtesy of Elizabeth Buxton.
The Look: Not as sparkly as I anticipated with a cloudy blue glow that hung to the bottom of my tall cup. Overall, less demystifying crystal ball vibes and more of a aquamarine mermaid look.
The Flavor: I couldn't detect any real peach flavor in the whipped cream, but a sip of the base revealed a sweet peachiness mixed with some tart blue raspberry candy-like notes. The green candy gem topping (a.k.a. my future) signified luck and tasted like Pop Rocks that had lost their pop.
My Future: Devoid of magic, wonder, enchantment, and owls. Although luck wasn't a losing prediction from my Crystal Ball Frappuccino, I couldn't help but feeling a bit disappointed. Until I noted on Starbucks press page a disclaimer stating, "*Starbucks does not assume liability for any luck or lack of luck that you experience, but we really do hope you have a fantastic day." Translation: No one's future is certain, even with one magical sip of a fortune-telling Frappuccino. So I could still find true love online — or own a pet owl, one day.

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