First and foremost, I’d like to thank episode recaps for existing – mainly because we get to be reminded of the steamy shower scene adorned with Veronica Lodge's (Camila Mendes) pearls in last week’s episode, but most importantly because a quick refresher is needed when you’re watching Riverdale, a show full of murder, lies, deception, and betrayal. Basically everything I live and breathe for.
Now even though it might not feel like too much crazy has happened besides Miss Grundy (Sarah Habel) being strangled with the same cello bow that Archie gifted her, we’re being formally introduced to a handful of key characters who are leaving me with lots of questions in the first two episodes of this season.
Like this new character in town who has me and FP Jones (Skeet Ulrich) in a tizzy is Penny Peabody (Brit Morgan), aka the Snake Charmer aka Riverdale’s Brie Larson look-alike. My instincts are telling me that maybe we’ve met the worst Serpent of them all. Introduced to us through a beaded curtain courtesy of Jughead Jones (Cole Sprouse) via Tall Boy (Scott McNeil), we meet Penny for the first time in Jug’s quest to find a way to lessen his father’s sentence of facing 20 to 40 years in prison for things like destruction of evidence and dumping Jason Blossom’s body into Sweetwater River.
Another new kid on the block is Reggie Mantle (Charles Melton), who seems to be instigating bad teenage habits by going around school talking about trying to get some jingle jangle. In addition to the jingling and the jangling, why does he think it’s a good idea to show up at Archie’s (K.J. Apa) front door wearing the same exact same ski mask as the dude who shot Fred Andrews (Luke Perry)? Especially when Archie made it his new nightly routine to skip sleeping and avenge his father’s attack with a baseball bat.
Also not super important, but we do learn very quickly in this episode that Archie has very poor cooking skills and doesn’t know how to make toast. There goes my daydream fantasies of breakfast in bed brought to me by Archie Andrews.
Now besides these new faces who I’ve added to my Don’t Trust List, you and I and everyone else who is obsessed with
Cole Sprouse Riverdale knows that this show is nothing unless the teens of the town are trying to fight for a cause, and said cause was to save Pop Tate’s (Alvin Sanders) Chock’lit Shoppe diner after it was given a new name via spraypaint: Death Diner.
At the risk of their hometown watering hole going under and being sold, Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart) and Veronica Lodge (Camila Mendes) make it their mission to throw a benefit for Pop’s diner.
After Betty receives a “double cherry on top no” when she asks Cheryl Blossom (Madelaine Petsch) and the Vixens to help at Pop’s benefit, Dark Betty emerges and strategically kills two birds with one stone by casually blackmailing Cheryl into not only volunteering at the benefit by threatening to publicize video footage of her father murdering her brother, Jason Blossom (Trevor Stines), but also blackmails her into testifying at FP’s hearing, claiming that the Blossoms forgive him for his wrongdoings to potentially lesson FP’s sentence.
On behalf of the Blossoms, Cheryl formally forgives FP Jones and asks the court for leniency on his case. With Jughead’s dad in a less compromising state and with a little less stress on everyone’s plates, B & V were able to pull off a somewhat successful event.
Somewhat Success 1:
Josie and the Pussycats did a nice-to-listen-to, but not-so-fun-to-watch performance of Kelis’ “Milkshake,” which probably didn’t bring many boys to the yard. It probably might’ve been more fitting if they instead did a cover of Jingle Jangle by The Archies. Also, who else thought performing on the roof of the Chock’lit Shoppe was weird and poor life decision?
Somewhat Success 2:
After berating and accusing her “daddy,” Hiram Lodge (Mark Consuelos), for things like hiring someone to shoot Mr. Andrews, writing a letter that threatened her mom about his investigation – which Hermione Lodge (Marisol Nichols) ended up lying about to cover for Hiram – and buying Pop’s to buy her love, Veronica makes peace with her parents and decides that if Pop’s can have a new beginning, so can her family. But let’s not forget that this is Riverdale, and there’s no such thing as a perfect fam. So of course Hiram ended up purchasing Pop’s diner...and wasn’t it a little weird when Hiram mentioned that Hermione’s loyalty knows no bounds? Is their marriage even real? This relationship is about to take us on a wild ride.
Somewhat Success 3:
This is more of a somewhat success for the viewer then it is for the plot, but in this episode we learn that Alice Cooper (Mädchen Amick) might be the best journalist in the world. Not only can she hear detailed conversations about jingle jangle through the diner windows and be awkwardly obvious when taking iPhone photos (with the shutter sound on!) of the jingling jangling happening at Pop’s benefit, but she might’ve pointed out what’s going to happen during the rest of the season when she blamed Betty for opening up a space for Serpents in Riverdale.
While these Riverdale webs are woven and expectations are set for the episodes to come, our good pal Archie finds himself getting too caught up in trying to do Sheriff Keller’s (Martin Cummins) job for him. Questioning whether or not the attacks on his father and Miss Grundy are linked, Archie also starts to question his theories on who’s really behind it all.
Sleep-deprived (according to Betty who’s being a creep and checking in on his bedroom every night – news alert: she still loves him) and in fear that someone is going after everyone he cares about, Archie sets up a meeting with Adventure Scout Dilton Doiley (Major Curda) after Pop’s benefit. The scene then cuts to the two of them on a dark bridge away from the event, and Dilton hands Archie a backpack of what I thought could be full of jingle jangle, but was instead a gun. No good is going to come from this. Not looking forward to it. Not here for it.
After letting out an audible gasp in reaction to Archie’s doubtful purchase, another audible gasp came out of my mouth when Moose Mason (Cody Kearsley) and Midge Klump (Emilija Baranac), two of Reggie’s jingle jangle customers, were murdered near Sweetwater River by someone who I assume if the same masked murderer who’s basically ruining Archie’s life post-Pop’s.
“Jingle jangle,” “hidey-hole,” what’s next?
Where is Polly Cooper? What trimester is she in?
Did anyone happen to count how many times Veronica addressed Hiram Lodge as “Daddy?” I counted too many. There’s no better way to face her daddy issues than calling her boyfriend “Daddio.”
Were you convinced by Jughead’s tears for his father?
Do we actually know what year is this show set in? Maybe this is something I can Google.
Who else wants Veronica and Jughead to make out? Just me? I need spice!
Why do you think Cheryl weirdly showed the video of her dad and Jason to her mom. Has her mom not seen the video? Is it possible that their father maybe didn’t kill Jason?
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