Update (September 26, 2017):
But wait! There's more. The guy who ghosted on his girlfriend of three years wrote to Ask A Manager with an update, after she had become his boss.
Apparently, Sylvia "has done very well for herself," is married with kids, and has moved to the country where the ghoster dude now works. After learning that the ex-girlfriend he left by running away to another country is now going to be his boss, he emailed HR at his company and the department set up a meeting with him and Sylvia.
"As you can imagine, this meeting was incredibly embarrassing for me, personally and professionally," he wrote. Duh. "Fortunately, unlike some of your readers hope, they did not think the past failed relationship was a sackable offense." But HR did consider it necessary to put some "measures" in place to avoid future problems.
"The measures included things like we are never to talk to each other without a third person present, all meetings documented, no discussion about her and the management with my colleagues, not even in watercooler chat, limit our interactions beyond the school, meaning no socializing for me," he wrote.
To the guy, these measures felt "rather excessive" and he resigned on the spot. He left the job with no severance, and no prospects for another job in that city, as he wrote. "So I had my comeuppance."
We're guessing Sylvia is incredibly relieved that the guy who wasn't mature enough to break up with her in person is no longer going to be reporting to her as an employee. We would be.
This story was originally published on August 22, 2017, at 10:15 p.m.
If I dated a guy for three years, lived with him for two of them, and then woke up one morning to discover he'd ghosted me, I'd probably fantasize about getting some hilarious form of revenge.
If you're thinking "okay, but people don't ghost after three years of dating," this guy's post on Ask a Manager will make you think again.
In the gem discovered by BuzzFeed, a man posted that he'd gotten himself into a "conundrum" at work and could really use some advice.
After reading it, I think you'll agree that "conundrum" is the understatement of the century.
Over a decade ago, the employee in question wasn't ready to settle down with his girlfriend, "Sylvia," and he just didn't know how to handle the "different expectations" they had from their relationship. So, he did what any reasonable person would do: "Over the Christmas break, while she was visiting her family, I simply moved out and left the country. I took advantage of the fact that I accepted a job in [another] country and did not tell her about it. I simply wanted to avoid being untangled in a break-up drama," he explained.
But wait, it gets better: He opined that "Sylvia was rather emotional and became obsessed with the relationship, tracking me down, even causing various scenes with my parents and friends." I mean, I'd probably ask around a bit too if a guy I'd been dating for three years just up and left the country.
Proving that karma is indeed alive and well, he's now working at an international school and Sylvia was "forgotten history" — that is, until his current boss resigned and Sylvia was hired as the replacement.
"I have no idea what to do and how to deal with this mess," he continued, adding that in addition to the fact that he'll be reporting to his ex (I don't think I'll ever be able to stop LOLing about this), "it is clear this will be embarrassing." (We agree with him on this point.)
"I am not in a position to find another job at present. There are no other international schools, so finding another job in this country is not an option. Even finding a job elsewhere is not possible on such a short notice," the ghoster continued. "These jobs usually open for school terms so I have to stay put for few months. But more importantly, I am happy and settled here so do not want to move. To make the situation worse, the expat community here is very small and tightly knit so teachers also socialize a lot."
So needless to say, he needs "some suggestions" about how to handle this situation.
He concluded by stating the obvious: "I understand that this would not have happened if I did not ghost her back then, but I cannot do anything about it now."
Cue the smallest violin ever.
This is indeed quite the conundrum for the guy who ghosted after three years of dating, but it's gotta be the sweetest revenge ever for Sylvia.