Put Away Those Tinfoil Hats: Outback Steakhouse Says It's Not The Illuminati

The notion that a massive organization of the world's top artists, politicians, and other leaders control the way the entire world functions has captivated people for centuries. In recent history, internet users have obsessed over the outlandish idea that everyone from Beyoncé to Kanye West are connected to the group that claims that through its guidance, "the human species is allowed to function in their natural order while playing the part of gears in a machine for the betterment of the world."
Yes, the Illuminati's official website (or, so it claims to be) has a formal mission statement for the sole purpose of letting people know we're meaningless without them.
Though I'm inclined to believe that humans will either grow together or destroy each other by their own will and not because Yeezus makes a maniacal decree, the latest Illuminati theory — that Outback Steakhouse is somehow working to control humanity — might just prove me wrong. After all, what is life without gigantic deep-fried onions?
Over the weekend, people from all over the country began speculating that the home of the Bloomin' Onion had joined the world's most formidable organization after a strange pattern of restaurant placements emerged. According to Complex, the online frenzy seems to have begun with Twitter user @eatmyaesthetics, who posted a series of photos showing maps of the Outback locations linked by stars, or in this case, pentagrams.
As the Illuminati website (again, not clear if this is real) notes, their "work is often marked by distinct symbols as a means of tracing our influence through history for those wishing to investigate."
What in god's name could Outback be planning in Indianapolis?
The tweet quickly blew up, receiving over 116,000 retweets since Thursday, and inspired a whole slew of star-studded maps.
Compelling stuff.
On Friday, Outback responded with a conspiracy tweet of its own with the simple caption, "plot twist." But not everyone was happy with Outback's response. The Daily Dot contacted the restaurant chain to get to the bottom of the fiasco, but instead of flatly denying its Illuminati ties, a representative responded back with the tweet and a note that "we see things differently."
Still not satisfied with the response, The Daily Dot asked if Outback had any "nefarious" plans in the works, to which the company said, "No plans other than to bring bold steaks and Bloomin' Onions to our guests!"
It looks like we may never know if the steak chain from Down Under is controlling our every move.

More from Food & Drinks

R29 Original Series