In the same way that we're all different people, we're all going to have different parenting styles — but that doesn't mean that any of our methods are better than others.
Karen Johnson, who runs the blog The 21st Century SAHM, recently took to Facebook to clear the air on mom-shaming, and her points hit home for moms everywhere.
"Girlfriends, I got to get something off my chest," she wrote. "My house is never clean. Like ever. I have friends (with kids) whose houses are spotless. Are they better mothers than me? Nope. Am I a better mother than them? Nope."
Johnson went on to discuss the various things moms can use to shame and judge each other, including how they give birth, how they discipline their children, and whether or not they work outside of the home.
"I breastfed," she wrote. "My kids barely had any formula. Am I better than moms who give their kids formula? NO."
Johnson tells Refinery29 that she was motivated to write the post because she was "just tired of the haters & judgmental sanctimommies."
"We are all just trudging along in parenthood & it's hard," she says. "Working moms, stay at home moms, crunchy moms, helicopter moms, homeschooling moms, CEO moms... we all just want to raise good kids & feel like we are doing ok, right?"
Johnson says that as a mom, she personally has been criticized for everything from having a messy house to watching her kids too closely or even not watching them closely enough.
"We already fight enough self-doubt," she says. "I just thought it might be nice to simply support each other and say, 'You're doing a good job even though your parenting choices are different from mine.'"
Given that a recent survey found that almost two-thirds of moms say that they've been shamed for their parenting choices, Johnson's perspective is refreshing, and seems to have resonated with the more than 300,000 people (as of writing) who have shared her post.
Welcome to Mothership: Parenting stories you actually want to read, whether you're thinking about or passing on kids, from egg-freezing to taking home baby and beyond. Because motherhood is a big if — not when — and it's time we talked about it that way.
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