By all appearances, fashion blogger Aimee Song (a.k.a. Song Of Style) lives an enviable life. A cursory glance through her Instagram page (which boasts over 4.6 million followers) will show that Song not only has impeccable taste, she also spends her time traveling in style and running a successful interior design business.
But as many of us know, social media doesn't always tell the whole story, and living a seemingly fabulous lifestyle doesn't exempt anyone from mental health lows.
On Tuesday, Song posted a blog about a recent trip to Paris, something that she usually does when she travels. However, this one was a little different. Along with showing her followers how she spent Paris Fashion Week, Song also opened up about her struggles with mental health.
"The hardest thing about being a blogger or having my life out there is to always pretend like I’m happy — I actually don’t feel so happy," she said in the video.
As a child, she said, she was bullied so intensely that she "wanted to kill [her]self."
"Somebody was asking 'How do you stay confident?' and I actually really faked it," she said. "I faked it all the time — not all the time, but I fake it a lot of times. I don't feel confident and I don't feel happy at all. I feel so sad inside and sometimes I feel so sad and so broke inside, especially lately."
Song tells Refinery29 that despite having been around close friends and being surrounded by people at Paris Fashion Week, she realized that she "was hurting inside and felt really alone" — and that's why she decided to open up to her followers.
"My followers think my life is perfect, and they're always commenting things like 'your life is goals,' but in reality, even though I've had many ups, I've also had my share of low moments." she says. "That made me realize everyone struggles in some way in their lives and I wanted to share that with my followers just in case anyone was feeling low, or that they aren't worthy."
"I also felt that mental health is something nobody really talks about and I, myself felt ashamed and didn't have the courage to talk to anyone which brought me down even more," she adds. "By sharing and opening up to my followers, I wanted to start a conversation and hopefully help anyone out there that they aren't alone and that it does get better."
While Song said that life has gotten better for her since she last had suicidal thoughts as a child, her candid video speaks to something that we need to talk about more often: living a life that seems objectively fortunate and "good" doesn't mean that you can't also struggle with mental health problems.
"Life isn’t always perfect and everyone goes through some hard times every now and then," she wrote in the video's caption on YouTube. "Thank you for being the most supportive people ever! Love you guys — and don’t worry about me! I’m happy again."
If you are thinking about suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or the Suicide Crisis Line at 1-800-784-2433.
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