One of my favorite random news stories as a cub reader was when Carlos Boozer sued Prince for painting a rental house purple. Boozer was a relatively forgettable journeyman basketball player more notable for his spray-on hair and catch phrases than anything he did on the court. But he had a brief brush with musical history when Prince painted his house purple. Why? Because Prince was Prince. So we should approach this story about Prince's estate with the same wry chuckle we're sure Boozer had when he came to find that his house was purple. Namely, the singer had $836,166.70 worth of gold bars according to an ABC News report. Now, let's be clear. There's no reason to have that many gold bars. America is not a failed state, and our currency has been off the gold standard essentially since 1933. Really the only reason to have that many gold bars is because you are goddamn Prince and you can do whatever you'd like. Plus, it's an all-time move to be like, "Hey, want to come back to my house and check out my gold bars? By the way, I'm famous singer Prince and my house is Paisley Park. I know you probably didn't need to hear about the gold bars, because of the other two things I just said. But what if the American economy collapsed like Weimar Germany's and we were left scrounging for bread? Makes you think."