In today's edition of nope, famed musical composer Andrew Lloyd Webber had the absolute grossest story to tell Piers Morgan during a morning show appearance, and it involves Rihanna. Once upon a time before Rihanna became an international superstar, she was a young singer in Barbados, allegedly performing with a band at a luxury resort where Webber and a friend vacationed. According to Stereogum, Webber saw her talent and considered "bringing her back" but then said "nah," as he was unsure of what he'd "do" with her. In his words, he told Morgan and Good Morning Britain co-host Susanna Reid: "I saw her, she was singing with a sort of karaoke band in the hotel I was staying at, Sandy Lane in Barbados. She was singing there — this must have been about 12 years ago. I remember talking to Nigel Wright, who’s sort of my music guy, and we were having a drink. We thought she’s very, very good. I said to Nigel, 'If we bring her back, you know it’s like when you see a picture when you're away and you take it home and you think why did I buy that?' I said, 'Nigel, we’ll get her back, it’ll be fine, but then what do we do?'" As if that story isn't bad enough, Morgan then asked "have you ever wondered how much money that cost you?" (the "that" being the decision not to take a young Rihanna home as if she was a cool souvenir from Barbados) and Webber responded: "I don't think in those terms, but if I did...let me put it this way, it's not a story I'm proud of." So Webber doesn't think in terms of money lost, but he does think of young female human beings as objects he can potentially make money off of. And he's not proud of this story, not because it's creepy, misogynistic, and objectifying, but because that same young girl ended up being a colossal success in the music industry, and he wasn't able to cash in on her success by managing her.
Check out the video for Webber's story in all its glory, below.