Lindsay Lohan, Like, Really Wants To Be Ariel In The Little Mermaid

A new star has rushed to fill the void left by Chloë Grace Moretz's high-profile departure from the live action The Little Mermaid. That would be a famous redhead with an even more famous propensity for entering into ill-advised contracts. Of course, we're talking about Lindsay Lohan. Let's take an applause break for all of the undersea creatures to appreciate the insanely good joke.
Ok, admittedly not our best work. But Lohan has kicked off her campaign with an Instagram post depicting the animated Disney Princess. She calls it her dream role.

My dream role @disneypicturesfilm @disney #ariel

A photo posted by Lindsay Lohan (@lindsaylohan) on

We should note that the original Little Mermaid film didn't make much sense. Why would Ariel immediately exit the sea and speak perfect unaccented English? More probably, she would make a bunch of random, unintelligible sounds that combine a bunch of accents in a way that would sound like gibberish to an untrained observer. Oh my god, she's preparing for the role already! How deep does this go? Let's go to underwater correspondent Sebastian the Crab to evaluate the new development.
Too true.

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