Online, nothing is sacred. Anything and everything is subject to ridicule — except for ranch dressing, as it turns out. When Ben Adler, writing for The Washington Post, declared that "ranch dressing is what's wrong with America," the internet leapt to its defense. The internet, much like you, loves ranch dressing. In the piece, Adler slings insults at the childhood favorite. He calls ranch dressing, "disgusting," "trashy," and a "vulgar extravagance." At one point, he attributes America's fascination with the dip to "faddish philistinism." The piece directs a whole lot of hate towards a fairly innocent grocery-store staple. Food hasn't experienced this type of vitriol since Pete Wells ripped Guy Fieri's restaurant to pieces. Well, if ranch dressing if wrong, then we don't want to be right.
The frenzy prompted another op-ed, this one in defense. Rohan Nadkarni stood with the rest of America in a piece for GQ. "Ranch is actually quite chill," he writes. "As a condiment, it's American as mixing together mayo and ketchup and calling that a sauce. I’m pretty sure every single family is required by law to have a three-quarters-finished bottle of ranch they acquired in 2007 that's still used occasionally somewhere in their fridge." According the piece, the original story sparked a debate in GQ's office that, and I quote, "almost caused the magazine to split into G and Q." When did condiments become so controversial? It's just ranch, y'all. And we happen to agree with Nadkarni: Ranch is perfectly fine. In some situations, it's divine. That being said, if you're looking for a new favorite condiment, check out our lineup of the best sriracha — and ranch — alternatives.