Do you love bacon? Have you ever been to a restaurant and thought, Man I'd really love to sit here and just eat a plate of bacon? Have you ever gone to a brunch just for the bacon? If you answered "yes" to all these questions, we just found your dream job. Time Inc. is looking for a food writer for their new breakfast and brunch-focused website called Extra Crispy, which launched today. The position is—get ready for it—"Bacon Critic." Yes, Bacon Critic is a real life grown-up job that could be yours. According to the job listing, "Our Bacon Critic can live anywhere in the U.S. and will spend a three-month appointment researching, writing about, obsessing over, and critiquing bacon." If that sounds like the best/easiest job in existence, just know that Extra Crispy's Bacon Critic "needs to be opinionated and thorough in his or her research, and will be expected to eventually decide which bacon is the best in the country."
So that means there will be real work — like spending hours taste-testing bacon to determine which is the crispiest, most delightful, juicy piece of bacon in the U.S. If your mouth is watering, and you finally feel like you've found your calling, then apply here. You just need to write 600 words recounting your favorite bacon-related memory. Which might be harder than you think — because there are probably so many.