Ronda Rousey revealed intense emotions to Ellen DeGeneres during her first sit-down interview since losing the Ultimate Fighting Championship to Holly Holms last November. During the interview, Rousey opened up about her thoughts before, during, and after the fight. She said that she doesn't even remember most of it. DeGeneres asked if after that loss, with all her injuries, Rousey ever considered giving up fighting. Rousey was quick to answer that she did not, but instead started tearing up as she attempted to fully answer the question.
She admitted that she was having much more intense, and even suicidal, thoughts after the fight. "I was sitting in the corner like, 'What am I anymore if I’m not this?'" she told DeGeneres. "And I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself, and that exact second I’m like, 'I’m nothing, what do I do anymore, and no one gives a shit about me anymore without this.'" The one thing that saved her? Thinking of her boyfriend, Travis Browne, and their future family together. "To be honest, I looked up and I saw my man Travis was standing up there, and I looked up at him and I was like, 'I need to have his babies, I need to stay alive,'" Rousey said. "Really, that was it." Between the tears, she continued: "I haven’t told anybody that. I think I only told him that. But that was, like, what I was thinking... I don’t know if I would have made it without him." She also said that she believes she is still "undefeated" because "being defeated is a choice." She is mentally and emotionally still a winner, to herself. Watch the full clip below.