You Can Take A Cruise On The Titanic Soon (Yes, Really)

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James Cameron films repeat themselves first as tragedy, then as farce. Karl Marx nearly said that, but what he couldn’t have known is that one of the director’s most iconic films will be entering the real world. (No, not Avatar, thankfully.)

In maritime news, the Titanic is back. Well, not quite yet, but Australian billionaire Clive Palmer is building a near-exact replica of the ship to sail along with his Blue Star Line cruise fleet, The Independent reports.

The ship will be almost identical to the original, only 12 feet wider in compliance with maritime safety regulations. Another difference is an adequate supply of lifeboats, a marine evacuation system, and a welded (rather than riveted) hull.

12 feet wider is one thing, but adequate lifeboats and a non-period hull construction? You might as well be sailing on a fucking dinghy.

For those worried about keeping up appearances, replica lifeboats will be visible on the main deck. No word yet on whether or not you will be able to replica die of hypothermia while your replica love clings to replica life on a replica plank in the middle of the still insanely real North Atlantic ocean.

The ship, which offers first, second, and third class cabins, will be 885 feet long, 173 feet high, and weigh 40,000 tons, the Belfast Telegraph reports. 840 cabins spread across nine floors will carry 900 crew members and 2,400 passengers.

"The new Titanic will of course have modern evacuation procedures, satellite controls, digital navigation and radar systems and all those things you'd expect on a 21st century ship,” James McDonald, Blue Star Line Marketing Director, told The Independent.

The original Titanic sunk on its maiden voyage, killing 1,500 passengers and crew in one of the most iconic sea disasters ever. You've probably seen the movie.

Titanic II will make its maiden voyage from Jiangsu in Eastern China to Dubai, not Southampton to New York as did the original. What could possibly go wrong?

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