11 Disney Princes Who Would Make Terrible Boyfriends

Photo: RKO Radio Pictures/Photofest.
Let's be real, Disney princes were weird. Really, really weird.

If they were real people, you wouldn’t date them in a million years. Despite Disney's attempts to portray each prince as charming, romantic, and courageous, they're actually creepy, gross, and – in some cases – complete basket cases.

Don't believe us? We went back and found everything that's wrong with some of these guys, and several "heroes," who were painted as the perfect man, but turned out to be absolute creepers.

Brace yourself, we're about to ruin all your girlhood Disney prince fantasies.
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Photo: Giphy.
The Prince: Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs

Maybe things were different in 1937, but nowadays, most women like it when their boyfriends have names. Because what kind of human doesn't even have a name? It's just a basic requirement these days. Sure, Disney later creates a name for this guy (it's Florian, ewww), but it's still weird. If that wasn't bad enough, he also kisses dead girls. Is there anything creepier than an unnamed necrophiliac who runs around the forest, in a cape and feathered hat, kissing dead girls? No, there isn't.
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Photo: Giphy.
Prince Charming: Cinderella

Prince Charming lets his dad control every aspect of his life. He says nothing about his father's elaborate scheme to find Charming's future wife. And during the ball, Prince Charming is bored with every single woman, but somehow manages to fall in love with Cinderella. Not because she's smart, or kind, or even a good dancer. It's because she looked hot. But not hot enough for him to remember her face, apparently. Instead Charming forces everyone in town to present "every eligible maiden" for an impromptu shoe fitting when she runs away from him. What kind of guy can't even remember your face? What a keeper.
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Prince Phillip: Sleeping Beauty

Prince Phillip first met his betrothed when he was a little boy: a newborn baby named Aurora. That means even as a child, he was already being taught that being creepy is okay. As a teenager, Phillip's only friend is a horse. TOTALLY NORMAL. (He actually may have more in-depth conversations with the horse than with Princess Aurora.) Prince Phillip thinks it's acceptable to stalk women in the woods, sneak up on them, grab them, and say cheesy pickup lines. If all of that wasn't terrible enough, Phillip also likes to kiss women when they're unconscious. Because that's what creepy Disney princes do.
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Prince Eric: The Little Mermaid

This guy will literally fall in love with any woman who crosses his path on the beach. He fell in love with Ariel because she sang to him while he was semi-conscious. One song, and he's all like "You're the one!" Really? Slow down, dude. Then, Eric falls in love with Vanessa (a.k.a. Ursula the Sea Witch) when she casts a spell on him. And again, he's all ready to marry this girl he just met. How ready? They want to get married the very next day at sunset. That's crazy — even for someone who's been cursed. In addition to being a fool who rushes in, Eric also has an abnormal appreciation for the jazz flute, and is prone to throwing hissy fits on the beach.
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The Beast: Beauty And The Beast

Let's pretend that he isn't a terrifying animal with killer claws, okay? Just skip that bag of crazy. The Beast has horrible anger management issues. He's super aggressive and demanding. He has awful table manners. He simply goes by "Beast." And let's not forget: he forced Belle to stay and live with him. He basically held her captive in his castle, like a crazy person. I understand hating unannounced visitors, but isn't kidnapping someone a little drastic? How do we even know that Belle really loves him? He held her captive, and forced her to play house. Couldn't this "romance" just be a twisted version Stockholm Syndrome?
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Aladdin: Aladdin

Aladdin's problem isn't that he's poor, or that he steals food. It's even okay that his best friend is a monkey in a fez, because it's actually adorable. Aladdin's real problem is that he totally catfished Princess Jasmine! Aladdin's guise as Prince Ali (complete with parade) is basically the equivalent of posting fake photos on Bumble, lying about your entire life in your bio, and still hoping to snag a girl. WTF Aladdin?! That's not cool! I don't care how funny your Genie is. No one wants to date a pathological liar who's pretending to be a prince. That's not how stable relationships are formed!
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Captain John Smith: Pocahontas

So your boyfriend is a colonist? Awkward. John Smith just doesn't understand the Native Americans he encounters in the "New World." It's only when he starts hooking up with an overtly sexualized Pocahontas that he realizes maybe they're normal people. John Smith also has a few problems with consent, namely after Pocahontas sings "Colors Of The Wind" and tells John Smith she can't see him again. His response? To grab her and try to force her to kiss him anyway. Did we mention his friends think Pocahontas and her family are "savages?" In real life, John Smith was just friends with then 11-year-old Pocahontas. But in the Disney movie, he's just an awful boyfriend.
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Captain Li Shang: Mulan

Li Shang is a totally honorable guy. He's in great shape, he can snatch a fish out of a stream with one hand, and he likes to walk around shirtless. These are all wins. He fell in love with Mulan while she was still pretending to be a dude and was actually upset to find out that Ping was a woman (oh the betrayal). So, even though he's a super hot military captain, this relationship probably isn't going to work out.
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Phoebus: The Hunchback Of Notre Dame

Your best friend is a horse (again Disney, really?). Your other best friend is the hunchback hiding in the rafters of the cathedral at Notre Dame. His best friends are gargoyles (a.k.a. inanimate objects). Your name is Phoebus. PHOEBUS. All of these things are weird, and awful, and could probably be forgiven because your heart is in the right place. But there's just one problem here dude: WHAT IS WITH THAT HORRIBLE GOATEE?! Boy, bye.
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Hercules: Hercules

So your boyfriend is a god? Awkward. Megara calls Hercules "Wonder Boy" for a reason. He's nearly perfect. Except for a few things. Like he only has a horse for a friend (why don't these guys have human friends?). He's horribly clumsy. He's also a gym rat, but all of that pales in comparison to the fact that he has terrible daddy issues. His entire life purpose is built around proving to his father Zeus that he's worthy of godliness. So what happens after you get the invite to Olympus? Who knows? He has no other interests or thoughts regarding anything other than becoming a hero.
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Photo: Giphy.
Prince Naveen: The Princess And The Frog

Prince Naveen is hot, okay? And he wears nice ties, and cool hats, and he can sing. But he's also terrible boyfriend material. He's a philanderer. He's a total freeloader. His own parents were so tired of his freeloading that they cut him off, forcing him to look for a rich girl to marry him and foot the bill for all of his dumb expenses. At one point in the movie, this dude admits that he doesn't even know how to brush his own teeth. Like what is that about? If that wasn't bad enough, Naveen also plays the ukulele. Ick.
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