When Jake Gyllenhaal is away, Amy Schumer will eat his birthday cake. While drunk, of course. Schumer told Stephen Colbert on Friday night's episode of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert, that Gyllenhaal nicely sublet his apartment to her. While there, she drunkenly devoured a frozen cake that was left in his freezer. "It was very old," she said. "I would get drunk and I would eat it." Naturally, Schumer had a clip of the incident to prove that yes, she did in fact eat that delicious-looking cake — that, for some reason, said "UR a Princess" on it — while heavily intoxicated (or probably maybe staged the hilarious video in her own apartment). And honestly, she doesn't even feel bad about it, telling Colbert, "I'm living a great life" before dropping the mic with a "take that, Hasselhoff" comment. The Hoff still has a lot to learn, obviously.