Ben Affleck's Penis Is Here To Pep Up Your Pumpkin

Photo: REX USA/Rex.
As a wise McSweeney's piece once noted, "It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers." It's also decorating gourd season. So, are you ready to up your jack-o'-lantern carving game significantly?
If your answer is "yes," you should only proceed if you want your neighbors to say, "Oh my, the (insert your last name here)'s have really taken disemboweling pumpkins to the next level. I don't know why I didn't think to put Ben Affleck's side-peen on my Halloween decorations."
In a series called "Pop Culture Pumpkins," Decider offers five helpful PDFs for carving the year's most talked about junk and other stuff into your jack-o'-lanterns. The stencils include Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, Bette and Dot Tattler and Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story, Emily Gilmore (for those of us currently losing sleep thanks to Gilmore Girls on Netflix), and finally, the aforementioned "Ben Affleck's side peen" from Gone Girl. You know, for those of us who like to work blue with our pumpkins. (Orange is the new blue, if you will.)
Click on over to Decider to see how Nick Dunne's penis renders in gourd form. As Jennifer Garner would say, "You're welcome." (Decider)
Advertisement

More from News

Watch

R29 Original Series

Watch Now
Documentary
Five love stories behind diverse, multicultural marriages.
Watch Now
Lifestyle
Life experiments, 5 days at a time.
Watch Now
Fashion
The style of subculture.
Watch Now
Beauty
Viral trends, tried and tested.
Watch Now
Documentary
From vibrators to lipstick, learn how your favorite products are made.
Watch Now
Documentary
Extraordinary, one-of-a-kind individuals
Watch Now
Documentary
The latest stories to watch.
Watch Now
Lifestyle
Inside the homes of millennial women — & what they paid for them
Watch Now
Comedy
Let's talk about sex, baby.
Watch Now
Documentary
Female artisans around the world
Watch Now
Politics
Made by and for smart, opinionated women.
Watch Now
Film
We helped 12 female directors claim their power.