Photo: Courtesy Showtime.Don't get us wrong. We love Homeland's Carrie Mathison — her trembling chin, fuck-this-shit outbursts and all. Still, it hasn't escaped our attention that she may have fibbed a bit on her CIA application. But, only a few sections. Like that part about not misusing prescription meds. Or having mental issues. You know, little things.
With the show's fourth season upon us, we got a little curious about just what the CIA expects of is agents. Sure, Claire Danes' Carrie can tear down a terrorist cell, get game-changing intel, and act on hunches nobody else has, but is she a good employee? Let's investigate, shall we?
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CIA: "In the past 12 months, have you illegally used any controlled substances, including but not limited to marijuana, cocaine, crack cocaine, ecstasy, hashish, narcotics (opium, codeine, heroin, etc.), amphetamines, depressants (barbituates, methaqualone, tranquilizers, etc.), hallucinogens (LSD, PCP, etc.), or have you misused prescription drugs?"
Does raiding your father's medicine cabinet and using your sister as a pharmacist count as "misused"?
Photo: Courtesy Showtime.CIA: "The hiring process also entails a thorough evaluation of one's mental and physical fitness to perform essential job functions."
Let's see. She's bipolar, had her brain basically fried, made a botched suicide attempt, and was pregnant without anyone noticing last season. Other than that, fit as fiddle.
CIA: "A career in intelligence can be enormously rewarding. It also demands the very best of the men and women who comprise the Agency's workforce. Because of the work itself, intelligence professionals must be highly competent in their fields. To safeguard some of the nation's most sensitive secrets, these professionals must be reliable and trustworthy. Woven through all aspects of their performance is the imperative to adhere to the highest standard of integrity."
"Trustworthy?" We'll get back to you on that one.
Photo: Courtesy Showtime.CIA: "[The clearance process] examines one's freedom from conflicting allegiances, potential for coercion, and willingness and ability to abide by rules regarding the handling and protection of sensitive information."
To Carrie's credit, she's always Team U.S.A. She just sometimes has a funny way of showing it when suspicious-seeming gingers are afoot and need her help. Let's face it, though: This gal is about as rule-abiding as the cast of Sons of Anarchy on Halloween. But, isn't that why we love her so damn much?
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