Mariah Carey is releasing her 14th studio album this year with one of the most poetically bonkers names out there: Me. I Am Mariah...The Elusive Chanteuse. It's just a few syllables short of a haiku, but that's besides the point. It's a blissfully exhaustive title that only a diva of Mariah Carey's status could pull off. (Beyoncé almost did it back in 2008 with I Am...Sasha Fierce, but no one's playing faves here...)
Anyway, like the conscious uncoupling-spree of March, the Internet (well, Time Magazine) has gone and created a widget to Mariah-fy names of those curious or bored enough. While everyone will likely generate their own personal Mariah Carey album titles, we took it upon ourselves to see how other pop divas would fare in the poetic-pop-album sphere. The results are, presumably, head-scratching and yet filled with undeniable truth. Lady Gaga is, in fact, an unearthly crooner.