Looking Recap: 40 Year-Old Boyfriend

looking_embedPhoto: Courtesy of HBO.
A friend of mine once casually asked if my gay friends and I hook up whenever we go out. A genuine question, innocent in delivery, but ignorant beyond my belief. I stared at her for a hot second before asking: "Well, do you hookup with all your guy friends?" She laughed and said, "Of course not!" I remember nodding before exiting the conversation. I had nothing else to say.
Dom's newfound Socratic-like relationship with Lynn is shaping up to be...something. To Lynn, it's clearly business (or, at least he's good at hiding his feelings). It's a whole other, misguided, and perhaps a little bit disillusioned thing for Dom. It's business. He's crushing. It's a mentorship. It's mature. It's, as Dom said, different. "Gay men are capable of being friends without f*cking, you know," he snarked to Doris. And, while that's very true, it feels like Dom can't live the truth he preaches. I don't know what was more painful: the kiss or hearing Lynn say, "We're friends." Ouch. Boyfriends? Nah. Friends? Maybe.
Come to think of it, I should ask that question about the other fellas, too. Agustín's relationship with his boyfriend is headed down a rocky road. (They teach you to avoid potholes in driver's ed, but not a-hole guys who enjoy cruise control in the left lane.) Oh, and Patrick's affair with Richie is totally official, but it's also totally not. Dom's 40th birthday party in the park, something I've dubbed I.P.A.'s In The Park With George (heh, get it?), became an odd parade of girlfriends, boyfriends, and the expensive, swoon-worthy hookers who shoot porn with boyfriends. Patrick's enthusiasm over Richie seemed to wane with each word Richie said. Add that in with Agustín's harsh, unnecessary but honest dig at Richie and the appearance of the man I wanted to be my Valentine, Kevin, and you've got yourself a Facebook relationship status that should read: It exists....
Patrick is so peculiar. He wants to appear like he has it all figured out, but he's just as dramatically sensitive as Agustín and just as lost as Dom. Richie could be something big for him! A real boyfriend with the potential for real love for the first time in years. But, there's this looming sense that the more he talks up Richie and truly comes to terms with the guy he's maybe boyfriends with, the more distance he puts between them. He's retreating. Why? Perhaps out of fear. The kind of desperate, spur-of-the-moment proposal for Richie to be his date to a family wedding is the kind of proposal done out of a sad case of empathy — empathy for knowing you both see the never-to-be-addressed pink elephant growing between you two.
At least Agustín is honest enough to spit the truth. Though, he also seems to not have the capability of facing it himself. His off-the-cuff remark that all relationships eventually open up is coming true, and the veil of indifference is quickly falling off. Oh well, at least he has his friends to sleep with. It is what we gays apparently do.
Missed last week's recap? Look here.

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