This Penis-Size Report Lacks Hard Data

condomssPhoto: Courtesy of Durex.
There are many reasons not to believe a new report on the size of male genitals across our great nation. First, the company that published it is called Condomania, and it claims to be the first online condom e-tailer. Besides the fact that anything with "mania" in its name is probably not the closest adherent to scientific process — The New England Journal of Medical Mania just doesn't sound right, for some reason — Condomania's findings are based solely on its sales of differently sized condoms to U.S. customers.
That is, Condomania has no hard data, if you'll excuse the expression, on penis size per se. The suggestion that North Dakotans possess the largest members in the country could just as likely be attributed to the fact that some men buy condoms larger than they should due to well-established concerns about a penile length's relationship to masculinity. (Large testes, it should be noted, have actually been found to be an indicator of shorter lifespan.) It also ignores the fact that some dudes opt to not wrap their junk at all. At best, this report could only claim that well-endowed North Dakotans are more sexually responsible than the rest of their brethren.
Advertisement
And, as TIME's Jessica Roy points out, "this list is missing Georgia, leading us to conclude that there must be no penises in the state of Georgia." More research, surely, needs to be done.
In the meantime, here are the top 10 states for substantial schlongs, according to Condomania (see the whole list at TIME):
1. North Dakota
2. Rhode Island
3. South Dakota
4. District of Columbia
5. Massachusetts
6. Ohio
7. Arizona
8. Alabama
9. New York
10. South Carolina
Advertisement

More from Sex & Relationships

Watch

R29 Original Series

Watch Now
Documentary
Five love stories behind diverse, multicultural marriages.
Watch Now
Lifestyle
Life experiments, 5 days at a time.
Watch Now
Fashion
The style of subculture.
Watch Now
Beauty
Viral trends, tried and tested.
Watch Now
Documentary
From vibrators to lipstick, learn how your favorite products are made.
Watch Now
Documentary
Extraordinary, one-of-a-kind individuals
Watch Now
Documentary
The latest stories to watch.
Watch Now
Lifestyle
Inside the homes of millennial women — & what they paid for them
Watch Now
Comedy
Let's talk about sex, baby.
Watch Now
Documentary
Female artisans around the world
Watch Now
Politics
Made by and for smart, opinionated women.
Watch Now
Film
We helped 12 female directors claim their power.