Good News: Your Bad Sex Life Is Ikea’s Fault

Turns out, your lackluster sex life has nothing to do with you at all. In fact, it is all your darn Ikea furniture that is keeping your lovin' sub-par. U.K. television personality Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen recently remarked that Ikea furniture is truly unsexy, and then wondered how anyone could possibly have sex in an Ikea-furnished bedroom?

Now, R29 certainly doesn't begrudge anyone who uses the economic Swedish mega-brand for a quick aesthetic fix (as we all do), but Llewelyn-Bowen brings up an interesting point: All of Ikea's goods come flat-packed. As most modern apartment dwellers can attest, this means it comes in pieces and needs to be put together. Without getting graphic, this simple construction means all our self-assembled furniture will certainly get its rattle on.

Secondly, those of us who prefer Ikea are probably budget-conscious, which means we might rent a place in a building...with thin walls...and other people. The idea of getting freaky on a squeaky bed above neighbors isn't exactly libido-enticing, but such is the modern dilemma. Maybe it might be better to take your boot-knocking to the floor?

Llewelyn-Bowen's contention that sex should be an "opera...drama...black velvet and silk" might be a little much. It's physical intimacy, not a Phantom Of The Opera retelling, and for the most part, our birch-tinted Malm is doing just fine. (Daily Telegraph)