Monica Bellucci. Let us count the ways. Thou art more lovely than any other noughties Euro babe. The ultimate bella figura, our generation's answer to Sophia Loren, and a living, breathing, Caravaggio painting made flesh (in a D&G fishtail dress). Too far? Our devotion is bottomless. Hence us dedicating this week's style file to the woman who could officially make a napkin look like couture.
The Italian super-babe was born in 1964 in Umbria and began her career as a model in 1988 when she moved to Milan and signed with Elite. She's been name-checked more times in men's mag's hottest-women-in-the-world polls than we've been omitted, and she made history as the oldest Bond girl ever (which is, ludicrous, but, kudos) in last year's Spectre with Daniel Craig.
However, our favourite Mon period has to be 1996-2006. Why? Well she met the thinking woman's Croque Monsieur, Vincent Cassel, on the set of their 1996 film The Apartment. They wed in 1999, starred in Irreversible in 2002, and became the globe's sexiest couple to have united ever. I mean, granted, they've since divorced. But let's not dwell on what we cannot change.
Monica, this is our insufficient, but very heartfelt ode, to your Boudica in Prada style...