What To Say To A Heartbroken Friend – Breakup Tips

Skip navigation!

Begin Slideshow

Photographed by Viv LaVive

Heartbreak and romantic hopelessness are some of the most universal experiences going. Most of us have been through it at least once, and we all have our own ways of coping (some more effective than others). But that doesn't mean we instinctively know what to say or how to help others in the same boat. In fact, we're pretty useless. "There are plenty of fish in the sea" and "I never liked your ex anyway" are unlikely to cut it, nor is ordering them to download Hinge and "get back out there" ASAP.

As a heartbroken person's friend, it can be tempting to offer up practical, concrete tips for finding someone else and getting their life back on track. But often people just want permission to wallow in their sadness and stay in bed for a few days. Refinery29 asked therapists, relationship counsellors, psychologists and others how to reassure and help someone in the midst of heartbreak.

More from Sex & Relationships

How To End A Date When You Realise It’s Not Going Anywhere

Often during a first date, you’re just waiting for a “spark,” connection, or literally any sign that justifies you spending you

What Is Mgen? The STI You Probably Haven’t Heard Of

Many of us haven’t heard of Mgen. If you’re on TikTok, you may have seen a few videos about the bacterial illness circulating recently but even so,

by Tanyel Mustafa

What If We Told You That Your Icks Say More About You Than Them?

“Men chasing after ping pong balls! It’s so embarrassing for everyone involved.” This is just one of the answers that dropped into my inbox after I a

by Tanyel Mustafa

Forget “Icks,” Here Are Our Oddly Specific Turn-Ons

Team Unbothered is looking for someone to match our freak. This is our exhaustive, extensive, roadmap of thirst.

by Kathleen Newman-B...

I’m A Straight Black Woman Dating A Woman & Labels Are Complicated

It’s not that deep. That’s what I tell myself whenever my pen hesitates over boxes on a form, under the ‘sexual orientation’ section. It’s

I’m Happy Being Single, But…

How long have you, or your friends, been single? For at least one person in your circle, the answer is likely to be well over a year — if not years. (In

by Tanyel Mustafa

“I Don’t Miss It”: Celibacy Is Bringing Some Women Peace

Celibacy has had a rebrand. Previously, celibacy was often intertwined with religious ideas of purity and chastity, but for women today the concept is much

by Tanyel Mustafa

What’s A Cock Ring And Should You Be Using One?

Want To Orgasm Faster? Try This

There are plenty of articles on the internet instructing men how to make a woman come in five minutes, 10, or 15. But what if a woman wants to learn to mak

by Erika W. Smith

Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce Have (Almost) Survived Cuffing Season

For years, I thought cuffing season was fake — something we made up and clung onto each fall as a beacon of hope for the prospect of love (or any kind of

by Elizabeth Gulino

PSA: There’s up to 50% Off LELO’s Luxury Sex Toys For...

by Charlotte Lewis

4 Questions To Ask Yourself If You Think You Are In A Toxic Relat...

Trigger warning: This article contains themes of abuse. If spending time with your partner feels like it drains, upsets or hurts you, you might be in a tox

by Erika W. Smith