A theory: The real, less melodramatic reason that the old Taylor Swift cannot come to the phone right now is not because she has died, but because she's too busy reinventing herself to call you back. From the breathy, synth-pop-inspired sound throughout Reputation to her unwavering insistence that the Taylor of yore is, well, dead and buried (she's even made it her Instagram bio, in case you had any doubts), Swift has fully committed to recasting herself as the edgy, self-aware pop star.
Of course, a full-on rebranding wouldn't be complete without Swift losing some aspects of the signature look she's stuck to over the years, such as bright red lipstick and an ever-present cat eye. And, after the reveal of her new British Vogue spread yesterday, we can now add eyebrows to the list of things that Swift has scratched off her kill list for 2018. R.I.P., Taylor Swift's eyebrows; we hardly knew ye.
Swift isn't the first celebrity to bleach her brows for dramatic effect, but considering her track record as a calculated musical mastermind, perhaps the disappearing eyebrow trick has a deeper symbolic meaning. Legend has it that Marie Antoinette's hair suddenly turned white from anxiety the night before she was set to be guillotined during the French Revolution, and Swift does like a good historical metaphor, particularly when it has to do with themes of betrayal and vengeance — as evidenced by the not-so-subtle "Et tu Brute" reference in her video for "Look What You Made Me Do."
Whether the case of Swift's missing eyebrows is part of a greater, more sinister scheme or just a fun look for a photoshoot, there are only so many places eyebrows can go. Wherever they are, we hope they're happy, and that nobody is blowing up their Instagram comments with rat emojis right about now.