But, while we are often the only BIPOC women in the room, we are not the only people in the room. There are others who witness and hear these atrocities and choose to say nothing, or choose to speak to us later in hushed corners. I want to challenge those people to do something differently. I want to challenge you to become a better ally. To simply ask, “Why?” Why did you say that to her? Why did touch her hair? Why did you make that comment? Then, get comfortable with the silence, because the offender will likely not have an answer. It’s not up to you to fill in the void. Let the silence linger. Let them feel awkward. In this time you have reversed the ownership of the awkwardness in one fell swoop. You have turned it towards the culprit and have provided a powerful opportunity for the victim to collect herself. You see, the beauty of asking why, right then and there, is that you can do it with any situation. It forces people to think about their racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, un-inclusive and/or discriminatory comments.