There's the old "putting detergent in the school fountain" gag, or the classic "streaking across the football field during a home game" stunt... but modern college students are thinking out of the box these days. College campuses play host to the very strange limbo between being able to act like a child and having to deal with the consequences like an adult, which provide many an opportunity for hilarious acts of irresponsibility. We’ve compiled the stupidest and funniest crimes from the well-loved college crime logs, and we have no doubt that these will be stories the perps tell the grandchildren someday. Got some good ones yourself? We wanna hear 'em!
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1. 42-year-old Stephen Beaulieu broke into Harvard professor Roy Glauber's house and stole his Nobel Prize for physics. Unfortunately Beaulieu left behind some half-eaten food and supermarket receipts which led the cops right to him. (CBS)
2. So far nobody is too sure what went on in the LGBT section of Harvard's Lamont Library. Last December 36 LGBT books were found soaked in urine in what was initially billed as a hate crime. Investigators later announced that a librarian had supposedly found a bottle of urine on a bookshelf and accidentally spilled it on the LGBT books. We're not sure how believable that story is, but either way this story is wrong and nasty on so many levels. (The Crimson)
3. Two students from the University of Alabama and the University of West Georgia were arrested for trying to steal live alligators from a Florida restaurant's pond. Putting safety above all, of course, the pair allegedly bought ropes, hooks, and raw chicken to try and lure out the animals. (Washington)
4. Last year a student at Miami University in Ohio was found urinating on a Methodist Church. To defend himself, the student told police, "I'm Catholic." "A" for effort? (Washington)
5. A Wesleyan University student was stabbed by a samurai sword while acting in a student production of "Shoot the Duke." Apparently the sword was a prop that was used to replace another broken prop knife (too dull?) without the actor's knowledge. The student suffered a "laceration" and was released from the hospital within a day. (Middletown)
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6. Lest you think that college stupidity is only found on American college campuses, two students at the University of Sheffield in England returned to their residence hall after an afternoon of drinking and decided to put a TV in their oven, resulting in a fire. (Daily Mail)
7. A student at Northern Kentucky University was jailed by campus police for 12 hours for attending freshman orientation and handing out condoms, which supposedly "violated the university's policy." Jailed for promoting safe sex? We're pretty appalled. (CollegeOTR)
8. A 26-year-old student at Joliet Junior College in Illinois thought he was being super clever by downloading child porn onto a college computer instead of his own, thinking that he couldn't be as easily traced. That is, until he forgot to remove his flash drive from the computer as well as several papers with his name on them, which were quickly discovered and seized by police. (True Crime)
9. While police were trying to help a drunk Boston University student in her dorm, they discovered that she had a fake license she had made in Venezuela. We're disappointed there aren't any photos to see just how horribly bad this license might have been. (Daily Free)
10. A UCSB student allegedly looking for some artistic inspiration was found on the corner of Embarcadero el Mar and Seville Road, screaming "Fuck the free world," amongst other things. The police tried to detain him after the student, a film studies major, disrobed and then nearly face-planted in the middle of the street. He defended himself by saying that he was just looking for inspiration for his latest movie, while the cops took him in to sober up. Creative license this was surely not. (Daily Nexus)
11. Police found a community college student stumbling around a street in Santa Barbara, California, and asked him to recite the alphabet as a sobriety test. Unfortunately, the student only made it up to "D" before giving up and saying, "Oh, this is hard." It sure is hard, guy. It sure is. (Daily Nexus)
12. An RA at Northeastern University found a drunk guy singing in the shower on her all-female floor. The student continued into the hallway naked and tried to open a door, thinking that it was his own room. (Hunt News)