The Ultimate London Etiquette Guide

Mind the gap, health and safety, Keep Calm and Carry On. We get it. What we don't get, however, is why it's taking that man so long to top up his Oyster card. Also, how are you supposed to get to work without causing bodily harm when everyone is walking like a pack of slow-moving, pavement-hogging zombies? And for all that is holy and good, what does a girl have to do to get a tea up in here?
Sorry. Rant over. As a rule, we Brits hate to moan too much. Still, we can't help but feel that things around London might run a bit more smoothly if everyone adhered to a few basic points of etiquette. Nothing crazy like practicing a perfect curtsey in case the Queen should ever darken your doorway. We don't expect (and, frankly, we don't want) everyone to start acting like they're dining with the Dowager Countess at Downton Abbey. Ultimately, we just want you to do you — while also doing us a solid by, say, not being a jerk on the Tube or a total energy vampire. Deal?
Some of these pointers are cultural quirks. Some are modest requests. Think you can get on board?

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