No, I went to Magic Mike to see one Mr. Joe Manganiello — he of the 6’5" frame with abs chiseled by Michelangelo himself — use a penis pump. I mean, to watch him bump and grind as a fireman and a gold statue. Special appearances by Matt Bomer, Manganiello’s equally handsome school chum from Carnegie Mellon, were also much appreciated.
Long story short (Big-Dick Richie pun intended), when Mr. Manganiello reappeared as Marshall’s friend from law school on How I Met Your Mother
last week, my first thought was, “Nice to see him returning to bit roles he had back in the day, now that he’s a famous werewolf.” Then, even though his character turned out to be a major a-hole, defending a pharmaceutical company accused of poisoning a lake during the trial on this week’s episode, I was still like, “What’s that? He’s a douche? I can’t hear you over his gorgeous face and virile manliness that probably just impregnated me through the TV.”