As the writers on Inside Amy Schumer noted in that one Friday Night Lights-themed skit, wine glasses are getting larger and larger. (There have also been studies to support this, in case you don’t like to get all your information from comedy sketch shows.) Not to be beaten out by the likes of more traditional glassware sellers like Bed, Bath & Beyond or Crate & Barrel, Costco has stepped up the competition by introducing a four-foot-tall, $100 wine glass that means you’ll never have to worry about getting up to grab a refill again. Mostly because it's probably very difficult (not to mention a terrible idea) to drink that much wine in one sitting.
While one can easily see this piece being the coup de grace in some kind of dangerous hazing ritual, Costco has instead chosen to market it as a fun home decor flourish. In one promotional shot, the glass is filled with corks; in another, what look like white orchids emerge from green moss nestled at its base. Okay, so “46-inch wine glass” is never going to be synonymous with “understated elegance,” but that’s not everyone’s style. Which brings me to my question: Is there a rational argument for purchasing this item for your home?
If you’re one of the 18 Costco customers whose reviews have averaged out to a 4.8-star rating, the answer is, apparently, a resounding yes. “I purchased this item on a whim & received it today. After unpacking, I immediately went online and ordered a 2nd one,” someone with the username Costco Collector writes. “Empty, it’s a great décor accent and will be even better with creative seasonal fillings.” A rave review if ever there was one, but if you’re still not convinced, hear me out on a few, uh, less traditional styling options for the hilarious 46-inch wine glass you'd like an excuse to bring into your life.
I can’t help envision it actually looking kind of cool inside a Hollywood Regency-style penthouse apartment belonging to, like, a Real Housewife or a Lindsay Lohan-adjacent celebrity circa 2006. I mean, there’s a certain winking self-awareness to being a party girl with a literal 4-foot wine glass inside her apartment that you just can’t help but appreciate.
It could also be funny — if comedy is indeed what you’re going for with your home decor — to subvert that classic “sexy girl inside a Martini glass” trope (why is that a thing?) by filling your giant wine glass not with women but with something really unsexy. Like Beanie Babies, should you still own them. A giant wine glass filled with Beanie Babies seems weird, sure, but maybe not as weird as the fact that you still own Beanie Babies?
Finally, I guess you could also take a cue from Costco’s book and put a plant in it. We are, after all, living in the era of the pampered, coddled houseplant. But instead of whatever fussy, possibly fake flower they're showing, I say keep it simple with something green and slightly overgrown, like a pothos or a fern. The fact that you own a giant wine glass is over-the-top enough without bringing exotic-looking plants into the mix.
The general rule of thumb, I think, is that if you're spending $100 on a giant wine glass, the weirder you can get with it, the better. I mean, it's a giant wine glass, you know? But whatever you do (and however much wine you drink), do not attempt to get inside the giant wine glass. According to one customer under the alias Winelovr, who suspiciously rated it just three stars, "The base is too small for the glass, so it’s a little wobbly." You don't say.