It's been five approximately weeks since I've seen a man (not counting my very cute neighbor, who so kindly stopped by my apartment to hand-deliver me some homemade ice cream). The coronavirus pandemic and the subsequent self-isolation mandates from both federal and state government is seriously killing my vibe. I should be warming up for my hot girl summer, going on endless dates and feeling all of the butterflies. Instead, I'm holed up in my apartment. Safe, but still very single.
As if they predicted the current state of the world, Netflix just dropped a new title that speaks to what millions of other single people and I are currently going through. New reality competition Too Hot To Handle is almost exactly like being in quarantine — kinda. Its competitors, described as the sexiest of the sexiest singles, live under one roof in paradise. If it sounds a bit like Love Island or Bachelor in Paradise, you're on the right track, except there's one major difference: there's no sex allowed.
That's right. All those pheromones are flying around the island, and "sexual touching" of all kinds — including kissing! — is off-limits.
The stakes are sky-high for our contestants, a group of self-professed horn dogs. If they manage to abstain from any and all sexual contact (even with themselves) during their stay, one person will walk away $100,000 richer. However, with every infraction, several stacks are subtracted from the grand prize. The choice is simple: getting laid or getting paid.
Given the fact that I haven't seen, much less kissed a man in over a month, I can't honestly say how I would fare in the Too Hot To Handle villa. But as a stifled individual with no prospects in sight, it's so fun to watch other people try.
There's this new show on Netflix called Too Hot To Handle and to win the $100,000 grand prize, these hot singles confined to this island can't have sex.— Mrs. Evans (@judygarci) April 17, 2020
SIGN ME UP. IF I'M ALREADY NOT DOING IT FOR FREE, THEN THIS SHITS EASY FUCKING MONEY.
All of us watching from home are certain that we could resist the urge, but we're not trapped on an island with a group of incredibly good-looking people, so that's not saying much. Find out if the horny cohort chooses their pockets over their pleasure by tuning into Too Hot To Handle, now available for streaming on Netflix.