Lohan Beach Club Episode 3 Recap: Italian Models

Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
It's episode 30 - errr 3 - of Lohan Beach Club and continuity is a ... problem. Have the American Ambassadors been on Mykonos for days? Weeks? Years? It's hard to tell. At some point Brent has, and then loses, some frosted tips in his hair. Multiple VIP Guests appear and disappear like an Instagram fever dream. Friends are made, love is lost, Lindsay appears in a floral dress wielding a "champagne" gun and declares, "I feel like Putin!"
At least we have Panos, our own personal Greek chorus, who gazes at Lindsay from across the bar and says, in quiet awe, "She's amazing."
That she is, Panos. That she is.
So, what's going on? Well - the first VIP guest is Alesso, a famous DJ and also friend-of-Lindsay. Alesso brings out the best in our girl. When he arrives she bandages his foot, "like a mom." She also seems legitimately happy around Alesso, hosting him in the day club that bears her name. She frolics about from the cabanas to the bar where she cheers on a dancing man and gives him a champagne shower. Her smile is genuine and it looks good on her.
Photo: Courtesy of MTV.
Lindsay and Panos also have news for the Ambassadors - they're bringing in a new host from the US to keep everyone on their toes.
But before the newest addition arrives, partying must be done. The group heads out to a club. Mike and Jules make out on the dance floor. He tells her, "you're sluttier than I thought you were!" which, awww.
Brent, Sarah, and Jonitta head off to a club to catch a set from Alesso. While Jonitta is busy chatting up potential Lohan Beach Club guests, Brent, asks Sarah to be his girlfriend and they share a (chaste) kiss. All is apparently forgiven from that time (literally last episode) when Brent rated Sarah a "2" and then she dumped a bottle of tequila on his head. ¯_(ツ)_/¯
The next day, as the ambassadors nurse their hangovers, Alex arrives. He used to work with Matt in West Hollywood and they hooked up at a Christmas party, but Alex has a boyfriend back home and Matt is invested in his budding relationship with Jules so it doesn't look like that is going on anywhere.
And if you were hoping for fireworks and drama around Alex's arrival, you'll be disappointed because Lindsay, Panos, and the ambassador all think he's the bee's knees. Brent calls him an "inspiration." He speaks Italian and Greek which comes in handy for that day's VIP guests known only as "The Italian Models."
"I don't speak very good English," one of them says – in perfect English. They do shots and Alex gives out massages. All's well that ends well.
Next week: On a more serious note, the teaser shows Lindsay addressing her assault on the Mykonos beach where she now operates her day club.

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