Kesha capped off her year by winning a Trailblazer Award at the Billboard Women in Music ceremony in New York on Friday night. She took her moment onstage as an opportunity to deliver a tearjerker of a speech about what she's gone through and what she hopes others can take away from it. "I’ve never really thought of myself as a trailblazer," she said, according to The Cut. "I’m just as scared and flawed as any person I know. My message has just always been to believe in yourself and love yourself. When I write those words, I do so as a reminder to myself as much as anyone else." In a video recorded from the audience, a tearful Kesha takes a few breaks to gather herself. "I’ve realized on a ride of ups and downs, that if I’m lucky enough to have a voice that someone will listen to, then I should use it for good and for truth," she went on. "This is why I’ve spoken openly about some of my struggles with my crippling anxiety and being in recovery for an eating disorder, amongst many other things."
While she was in a very public battle with Sony and her former producer, Dr. Luke, whom she accused of sexually assaulting her before dropping her charges, she was also suffering from these other issues. "The irony is, when I was very very sick and getting sicker, I would hear about how much better and better I was looking, and that is [the] problem," she said. "I decided I want to be part of the solution. And that’s why I decided to stand confident in my ever-changing, totally imperfect body and try to practice the self-worth and self-love that I preach in my music." In this context, it's more moving than funny that she admitted to the audience, "Quite frankly, today, I feel bloated." Although she didn't feel in a great mood for an awards show, she said she decided to power through in order to thank her supporters.
"Life is hard sometimes and things don’t always work out the way you planned it, but if you keep on believing and you keep working hard, and you keep fighting and you keep showing up for yourself, you can move mountains," she concluded. "Sometimes, your journey can take unexpected turns, but that’s the beauty of this life. So get up and show up for yourself and don’t let anyone stop you, and most importantly, do not let anyone else ever take your happiness. You are worth it. And thank you for reminding me I’m worth it, too." That's making the most of a tough year.