7 Things We Learned About Fifty Shades Darker From The New Trailer

Photo: Courtesy Universal Pictures.
By now, avid fans of E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey are dissecting all sorts of subtle hints in the second trailer for Fifty Shades Darker, released today. The rest of us, who may have forgotten a giant chunk of the trilogy's plot (after all, that was never quite the point), or who managed to avoid the books altogether, can view this latest sneak peek with the dewy eyes of the innocent. What can it all mean? Here's what we've gathered. Things Are Awkward
Reminder: Christian (Jamie Dornan) and Anastasia (Dakota Johnson) break up at the end of the first movie. You can tell this by the way Ana responds to his dinner invitation after hesitating for .000001 second. "Okay, fine. I will have dinner with you. Because I'm hungry. But we are only talking and that is it." Christian Bought An Invisibility Shield
Because what can't his money buy? This is our only explanation for how Ana can remove her underwear in the middle of a fancy restaurant, and how Christian can then grope her in a crowded elevator without anyone batting an eyelash. Is this sexy or gross? The New Mannequin Challenge Is Here
First there's Christian standing ominously and staring at Ana at the gallery, then there's that stalker (Bella Heathcote) doing the same thing in his apartment...twice. The name of the game is to stand as still as possible until everyone does exactly what you've willed them to. Ana Wasn't Told About This Game
"Are you just going to stand there gawking?" she says in her breathy voice while standing in her lingerie. She's the best at seduction.
Ana's Boss Didn't Attend His Annual HR Sexual Harassment Seminar
To be fair, Jack (Eric Johnson) approaches Ana in basically the same creepy, domineering way as Christian does. But we know his approach is, because he's not quite as hot? Kim Basinger Is A Sad Dominatrix
"Do you think you're the first woman to try to save him?" Elena (Basinger) asks. She's supposed to seem menacing, probably. But the look on her face is just defeated, and also very moisturized. Helicopter Crashes Are Erotic
That must be why there's a scene of a helicopter crash-landing intercut with flashes of sexy time. Wait. Did we get this all wrong? Maybe we'll have to watch that shower scene a few more times, just to be sure.

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