Suffering from anxiety is all kinds of debilitating, and when you're a performer in the spotlight, it can be tricky to navigate. That's why Zayn Malik, former member of One Direction, decided to go public with his condition. He opened up about it in more detail is his new book, Zayn. Specifically, the 23-year-old wrote about how his anxiety caused him to cancel shows, according to an excerpt posted in Time. "I just couldn’t go through with it," he explains. "Mentally, the anxiety had won. Physically, I knew I couldn’t function. I would have to pull out." Before going public, the singer would make up excuses and release statements whenever he missed a show. "As a solo performer, I felt much more exposed, and the psychological stress of performing had just gotten to be too much for me to handle — at that moment, at least." It was exhausting, and he couldn't keep hiding such a huge part of his life. “Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of," he continues. "It affects millions of people every day." Plus, by telling the truth, he knew he could be doing a lot of good. "I know I have fans out there who have been through this kind of thing, too, and I wanted to be honest for their sake, if nothing else." Now, he fights to speak up about anxiety to make its effects more widely-known. "I love performing. I love the buzz. I don’t want to do any other job," he says. "That’s why my anxiety is so upsetting and difficult to explain...It’s this thing that swells up and blocks out your rational thought processes." He describes it as a constant battle within himself, but at least now, he doesn't have to fight it alone.