Adele Has “Explosively Joyous Moment” With Best-Ever Burrito

Adele said "Hello" to her best-ever burrito with a tweet heard round the world. The singer was most likely still in Los Angeles, where she had just finished her first of two sold-out runs at Staples Center. Here's the tweet in question.
This obviously raises some questions. Food and Wine has published some wildly irresponsible speculation about the possible source of the burrito. To their list, we say: No. There are only three possible places Adele could have had the best burrito of her life. The first is El Atacor, which offers a burrito the size of a human's arm. Look at this thing. That's the Super Burrito, which is probably not what Adele got. That's a big burrito. She would have gotten the barbacoa, which is insanely good. In fact, certain archaeologists argue that the Lascaux Cave Paintings foretell such a burrito.*

? #SuperBurrito

A photo posted by Greg Ory (@greg_______________ory) on

The second possible burrito destination is Yuca's, which admittedly did make it onto the Food and Wine list. Their cochinita pibil burrito, served out of a stand in a parking lot with about four total seats, is actually outlawed in the other 49 states because it's too delicious and the other states lawmakers banned it so their constituents don't feel bad.*

#cochinitapibil #quesadilla #yucas #yucatan #mexicanfood

A photo posted by Kamerin Omori (@kamerin_toshiko) on

The third and final burrito candidate is at Tacos Por Favor, which also offers the best Mexican in West Los Angeles. Their chorizo and cheese burrito is technically in violation of the Geneva Conventions because failing to be eating it at all times is an "outrage upon dignity."*

Be still #mybeatingheart #tacosporfavor #orale

A photo posted by Jonathan Alvarez (@jbassontop) on

Adele's reps declined to comment, choosing instead to jealously guard the secret of the burrito. Haters. * Totally untrue, but funny to think about.

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